sugar makes me go fast

the title really has little to do with the blog. it is a saying that has been stuck in my head from a project i am working on at the good ole' j-o-b.

speaking of work projects though... sometimes having the coolest job isn't the best thing. in pretty much any other situation i would be pumped (and so would just about every other person i know) about having to sample candy for work. i mean seriously who wouldn't love a job where you actually have to eat candy, so long as it isn't every day of course. well unfortunately when you are trying to lose some of the baggage around the belly that job isn't always the best. it seems as though work has been one of my biggest obstacles through out this process. between business trips which have me eating out (and off plan), to division meetings where they provide lunch or at the very least some sort of snack, welcome coffees where again some sort of snack it provided, and now having to sample various candies. in most situations like the coffees or if a snack is provided at the meetings i can just not partake. unfortunately if the division provides lunch, the company takes me out, i am on business, or this most recent i have to sample the candy (long story but trust me this isn't one i can pass off to someone else) following plan gets a littler harder.

to add to the difficulty, there is my own personal items. i am sure the previously mentioned issues wouldn't be as bad since they are usually fairly spaced out. a slip up here and there really shouldn't hurt that much. however, outside of work you have birthday celebrations, drinks with friends, and those nights that you are just so exhausted you don't have the energy to cook. this combination of work and trying have some sort of a life is what is getting me.
i was hoping to see a big number this week. after being told i would see a big drop about the middle of the week after the break, i anticipated seeing it today. sadly... i didn't see the drop. in fact i actually went up 1lb. it isn't so much the lack of dropping that i has affected me, it is the fear that my minor alterations to the break week (i.e. dessert at moms birthday celebration on sunday or eating off plan while in pitt for recruiting) made it not work. i know that getting over my natural stopping point isn't going to be easy (not like any of this is really) and i would hate to think that i jeopardized that. i guess we will find out at the end of the week.

in other news, my trial run of halloween costume #2 is tomorrow. for those that don't remember the first fiasco, i purchased a costume that was labeled as fitting the size i am in. well they lied! let's just say it was not a very pretty sight! this time i ordered a different costume in a bigger size but still smaller than what i used to wear. we will see if it fits. if not i have decided that is my body's way of saying "don't go out". if that is the case, my back up plan is to get comfy and go pass out candy and watch movies with one of my friends. either way it will be a good night! :o)

perhaps it is time to hit the gym. i haven't been there as much as i had been going. it is showing in my increasing tiredness. glad i have long gym/yoga pants though. it is COLD... but then again we don't have snow yet! HAHAHAHAHAHA. *sorry jen*

celebrate good times

in light of my newest milestone i wanted to re-post the progress photos. as most of you remember i only have the one from right before starting the plan.

this is the one taken at 20lbs down... one of few because i loathed cameras.

now that i am 30 lbs down (yes that is right folks i hit 30 lbs today) i wanted to post a couple more photos. there isn't a whole lot of difference in them, at least not to me, but i wanted to show them off. i am not afraid of the camera and will gladly grab it for some photo ops. :o)

the 30lbs is a bit wobbly right now because of the antibiotics i am on and the iv from my ct scan yesterday. both cause a weight gain so i can't show a completely true number until monday. however, that means i may be more than 30 lbs. :0) the 30 lbs is exciting in itself but even more so because i am at the lowest i ever remember being in my adult life (since my sophomore year of college actually). i'm not done yet, but man it's good to be here!!!

the break week went alright. i did have an off day with the whole recruitment thing but other than that i was good. i was glad to not have to eat ONLY lettuce as a veggie today!!! i was even more excited to get to eat steak until this evening. my tummy is not liking all this beef. apparently spending 2 months eating lean meat (i haven't had a whole lot of beef in the past 2 months) makes eating red meat a little harder. my tummy hurts a bit but it is getting better as the day goes on. it could also have something to do with the medical stuff. either way... we are rocking and rolling on this thing!

happy eating everyone.

lead me not in to temptation

day two of the 7 day break... ouch! i can't lie, this is hard. i am not allowed to deviate at all from the provided meal plan. yesterday i was confronted with temptation at every corner. doesn't it always seem like when you can't have something is when you want it the most? well first i had to pass the lady with the cart full of cakes and treats for the cafe. then i had to sit in a meeting where candy was the topic and i was looking at our candy cards that are in stores now (shameless plug for work there). then after the meeting i had to research candy the rest of day... talk about sucky. i don't even care for candy that much but ALL of it looked good!!!
oh well, it is paying off. i was down 2.8 lbs since saturday morning per the weigh in tonight. pretty great if you ask me since it wasn't even guaranteed that i would lose this week. maybe it is the fact that for the first week since my actual first week on plan i haven't cheated with my sugar free jelly beans or sugar in my coffee. maybe if i stuck to not cheating i would lose more! hahaha i would miss my treats though. ah choices!
that is about it for my update today. hopefully i will continue to have good news this week!
happy eating.

the power of words

this weekend was a FANTASTIC time! it was wonderful to be around old friends and remember why we are all glad we don't go to college anymore. :o) after the whole ordeal with the formal dress i ended up wearing a pair of dark denim jeans and a cute black sweater. it was the theme attire for the older girls so it worked out well.
while hanging out with friends one of my friends made a comment. now i need to preface this story with some history. this friend is actually my sorority sisters husband and all through college (they weren't dating at that time) we did not get along. he was older and i was young and annoying to him. plus we had very different personalities in general. it wasn't until he and my sorority sister got married that we started to be civil to one another. now that they live just down the street i will actually venture out to say he is a friend. by default, because tricia either tells him or he is around when we are talking about it, he knows a lot about stuff going on in my life. when i told them about starting the diet, while she was somewhat supportive, he was very supportive of me. the two of them have been major support systems for me through this. ok back to present time. he was talking to some of the guys at the table about someone else gaining weight and he said "speaking of weight, LINDA YOU LOOK FANTASTIC!" then we sat and chatted about the diet and how i am doing. i can't fully explain why him noticing was a big deal, but it has a big impact on me. i respect his opinion and i think it is in large part because he won't tell you something just to say it, he only makes comments that he truly feels. for him to stop mid conversation and to even just say it meant it really was true. talk about a boost back from the formal dress.
what made that story better for me was i had felt that the shirt i was wearing didn't really show the loss that much. it stretches and i thought it looked big so that was even more exciting to me.
i know people (specifically family) tell me all the time how good i am doing, how proud they are of me, etc. and that is so very important and great to hear. unfortunately, when it is your family you always temper comments with a bit of bias behind them. as for my opinion of myself, i can see the changes but i also don't trust what i see. so those rare and random comments from friends are a perfect boost.
ok enough of that, real diet stuff. before leaving on saturday i weighed in and had only gone down less than a lb. i spoke with angie, one of the counselors, and told her how my body was in the weight range that i always get stuck in. i can never seem to get below 245ish (even though i am at 243 right now). since i haven't been showing the strongest numbers the past week or so and i am in a natural stopping point to my body, i have to start a break buster. starting on monday my diet is VERY specific!!! i have 1/2 a grapefruit with eat meal, 2 eggs for breakfast, 7oz protein (that is one extra oz than normal) for lunch and then again for dinner, 2 c. raw lettuce for lunch and again for dinner, and then 1/2 c cooked veggies with dinner. ABSOLUTELY NO CARBS. i have that diet for 5 days, then on saturday and sunday i get to re-live the prep. i am actually excited about this because it is unlimited protein and raw veggies and the more red meat the better. HELLO STEAK and ROAST!!! she did warn me to not expect to see a loss during the week but the following week there will be a big drop (primarily sodium i am guessing).
i have been telling everyone that i will cry the day that scale hits below 200 since i can't remember the last time i was there ( i honestly think it was my freshman year of high school... if not earlier). the truth is, i will probably cry a little when i get to 235 since that is a solid 10 lbs. from the lowest i ever remember being (245lbs) as an adult. i'm getting excited just thinking about that! :o)

formal dresses are the DEVIL

for anyone on a diet, if you want a sure fire way to feel like you are not making any progress... go try on a formal dress!!!!
this weekend (tomorrow actually) i am going to kory's fraternity formal for homecoming at pitt. those unaware of fraternity formal... think high school homecoming in college and with alcohol. due to the weight loss most of my dresses don't fit and on top of that they are more formal that i wanted to wear. so last night j and i went out dress shopping. first stop was a store that, for anonymity, we will call davida's bridal. we loaded me up with about 10 dresses and headed to the dressing room. i started out with a bounce in my step because i knew i had dropped down a size or two in pants so surely a dress would be the same, right? WRONG!!! it has been so long since i went dress shopping that i forgot that dresses run about 2 sizes too small. so all 10 of the dresses didn't fit (we only brought in size 16 and 18 dresses). out of the 10 only 2 looked good enough to hunt for a size 20. one of them j kindly told me i looked like a "stuffed sausage/oompaloompa", it was not one of the two we searched for a larger size in. sadly they didn't have the larger size in any of the ones we liked.
the rest of the night we hit 3 other stores and we were greeted with the standard large lady "pretty" dress. these consist of floral prints, pant suits, and dresses that look like wallpaper/curtains. sadly disappointed in not finding a dress we ended the night on a positive note with blueberry martinis. i felt better at least! :o)
today, thank goodness for mama, i have a dress. i borrowed one for my mom that was almost exactly what i was searching for (color, length, etc.) in our little spree. added bonus... didn't have to spend the money on a new dress!!! YAY!!!
in other diet news, i am finding it harder and harder to get my water in. it seems that if i don't stick to the routine i have, i won't stay on track with the plan. my routine is: 7-7:30 breakfast, 9-9:30 mid-morning snack, 11:30-12 lunch, 3:30-4 mid afternoon snack, 6-7:30 dinner, and usually take my last supplement around 8:30. if i deviate from the any normal time after work (mid afternoon snack and dinner) i do not get my water in or i deviate from plan. i am finding i am not hungry for dinner if i have the snack later and if i push dinner later i just get to the point where i don't want to cook anything. not eating is SO BAD for the plan because it screws up your metabolism. vicious circle! i guess this shows that 2 months in i am still figuring out my body and how it needs to work on this thing. the lack of staying on plan is showing. i haven't moved up or down on the scale this week. granted last night eating out and the martini didn't help i am sure. nor will formal tomorrow. oh well, i will live life and just work harder next week to balance out my night of indulgence (if it turns out to be that).
tip of the day: shrimp is one of the most filling meals i think i have. 6 oz of shrimp is actually a LOT of shrimp and it is good for you! tonight i tried my shrimp with a salt free all purpose seasoning and a little butter. YUMMO!!! try it, you will love it! tip 2: always ALWAYS brush your teeth after eating radish as a veggie! your breath will smell rank if you don't and your friends will appreciate it if you do!

it's like magic

when i went to weigh in on monday, after that horrible week of not eating on plan and taking in my proper amount of water, i knew i was going to go up. i did! sadly when i stepped on the scale i had gone up about 4lbs from the last time i weighed in. this sounds like a lot, and i guess in a way it is, but this diet has given me the confidence that i can work this off quickly and get back to where i was heading.
i went in yesterday and was down not only the 4 lbs i had gone up but an additional .6 lbs. this is actually why i put the title referencing magic. you see, it isn't that i actually lost 4.6 lbs in 24 hours, there were some things playing in to my weight on monday. i want to share this with you so you (fellow dieters) understand the reason consistency is so important.
every day that i go weigh in i try to go in between about 4 and 5:30pm. this is because i have had time to get home from work, go potty and #2, and get out of my work clothes. that way every time i go in my system is at on empty and my clothes are somewhat similar in weight every time. this also allows for traffic time with work. however, on monday when i went to weigh in i went in around 2:45pm, hadn't done bathroom business for about 2.5 hours so my body was far from "empty", and i was still wearing clothes from work that weren't exactly the same weight as my normal clothes. this alone will not make you go up 4.6 lbs. the final factor is that on sunday night i had steak for dinner. beef is one of the hardest foods on your body during this diet because it is usually fattier and it contains more sodium. this makes you retain more water (thus showing in you scale numbers), which is why you are limited to how often you can have it.
again, all of this just played a part in explaining such a drastic jump. in all actuality, if you took those factors out, i probably lost about 1 -2 lbs between the 2 weigh ins. most of that was also going to be water weight since i was retaining it.
what i am really hoping you get out of that whole rambling is this: 1) there are other factors that play into your numbers besides just following plan (i.e. what you ate, when you weigh in, what you wear, etc). 2) don't get discouraged when you step on the scale and you see a drastic jump up. you can work it off, just remember how far you have come thus far and how hard you have worked. it is worth it!!!
beyond that, things diet wise are going well. i am anticipating seeing a jump up over the next few days since i am on antibiotics and your body will try to retain water with those. we will see. my favorite part of what i am seeing right now is my sigma ring. on my right ring finger is my sorority ring. i have had this ring since my freshman year of college (i have talked about this before). the ring started out fitting just right, no slipping and minimal turning. as time has gone on it has gotten a bit tighter, when i started this i could barely get it off my finger. today while at the gym i brought my hand up to my head for some reason. the ring flopped. it doesn't fall off (my finger has formed a ridge that holds it down) but i can tell in general movement of my hand the ring is sliding a lot more. i love that, but am sad that some day i won't be able to wear it. guess i will just have to replace it.
tip of the day: my tip of the day is for the ladies and it is about health (sorry fellas). this past month i experienced something that startled me and after going to the doctors and doing some research i finally got the answer that i felt i should share with you. about 2 weeks ago i started experiencing mid-cycle bleeding. this is VERY unusual for me since i am ALWAYS regular on how my cycle operates. after speaking with my obgyn, she told me that with a rapid weight loss, which this obviously is (and that isn't a bad thing since i am doing it a healthy way) can cause spotting or a missed period even. amazingly enough, your fatty tissue can and does produce estrogen. i am in NO WAY telling you to not check it out if you are experiencing this. go to the doctor and get it checked out, but recognize that it could be something as simple as the diet so make sure you tell your doc about your diet (how long you have been doing it, how much you have lost, and bring your list of meds) so they are fully informed.

happy eating everyone!

back from the dead

good afternoon all! my apologies for the length of time between posts. life here has been crazy with work, my personal computer dying, and now i am in the middle of a family reunion weekend. none the less here is an update for you to snack on.

things are the diet front are at a stand still. right now i am bouncing between a 23lb loss to a 20 lb loss. right now leaning more toward that 20 lb. the reason for the pause break in losing is because this past week i have not been doing great on the food side (or the exercise to balance it). tuesday i had friends over and while most of the meal was on plan i had cheesy rice and stuffing. the worst thing though was i had wine! not too bad though, i went to the gym on wednesday and managed to come out right were i was before dinner. thursday night was the first night of the family stuff. this family thing means 45 minutes to get to where the events are which doesn't help on timing or if i forget my pills. plus thursday night they didn't have a whole lot of selection of on plan meals and i had beer. friday, i was good about eating all of my meals on plan, until i realized that my mom had made ribs and carmel corn. i had some of both (i can't turn down my mamas ribs!!!). i also have not been getting my 80 oz of water in. today mom and i had breakfast and for the most part i stayed on plan. i had and omelet with mushrooms, tomatoes, onions, and spinach. it really should have been more like a lunch meal but i figured i would switch lunch and breakfast.

it is now about 2:30 and i just woke up from a much needed nap and after lunch (which is VERY lite) i am going to head to the gym and try to counter balance some of the damage done over the past couple of days. i am ok if i don't lose this weekend but i really don't want to gain, that just breaks my heart. tonights dinner should be ok, we are having baked chicken and there will be veggies there.

i did want to post you with my newest issue. i decided to go shopping yesterday for a little retail therapy. i am now unsure of where i am supposed to shop in stores. all my life i have shopped in juniors plus (if they had it) and womens. now... i am at an in between size, and a whole new world of options. i literally wandered around several stores yesterday trying to figure out where i belonged. sadly... after about an hour and a half i left the mall with one shirt from lane bryant (where i will only be able to shop at a little bit longer since i am in their smallest size now) and a somewhat sad heart that i still didn't know where to go.

hating to end on a sad note though and since i can't think if a tip for today. i am leaving you with photos. i found a photo on my dads computer that was perfect for this. be prepared though it will be the only before picture unless someone else sends me some.

this is a picture taken of my sister and i at our cousin mels wedding. this photo was taken on a saturday night i started the diet that following tuesday.

this is a photo i took of myself at 20 lbs. can you see the difference yet? this is only 20lbs so imagine what the whole thing will look like!!!

happy eating all!

the good, the not so good, and the REALLY EXCITING!

I have always been told to sandwich a negative between two positives, but for this post... i want to move from the "not so good" to the really exciting.
the not so good: i weighed in today. i actually have avoided going to the center all week because i knew that i had gained. my own fault and i was well aware of it. i had some beers with a friend on tuesday night, and had a few on wed as well. i addition to that, i had non-diet bread in a sandwich with cheese for 2 days this week. sooooo i knew i was going gain. luckily between going back to plan and hitting the gym, it was only 1 lb.
the good: in order to ease the pain of the gain donna, the new lady i met at the center today that i think is amazing!!!, took my measurements. they have not measured me since i started the program. grand total i have lost 15 inches. 4 of those have been in the hips!!! what is really exciting is that my hips and my chest are almost exactly the same size, this is how it is supposed to be one women!!! this was nice to hear. i knew i had been going down inches since i had to retire yet another pair of pants (i will explain this momentarily), but i didn't know how much. so yay for that.
now for the REALLY EXCITING: i have never really been a big fan of shopping. i think part of it has been because i hate trying on clothes and nothing fitting or the only clothes they make for bigger women are really not that attractive. i will admit they are getting better with that, but honestly not everyone looks good in large floral print, nor do we only want to wear it. either way, today i knew i had to break down to buy some new pants as another bit the dust. after walking around work on thursday with a pair of dress slacks falling down to the point i was thankful i was wearing cute underpants, i figured i should retire them. i also took a good long look at my pants and realized that they really weren't flattering anymore. soooo mom and i went to old navy and kohls. i ended up walking out of the stores with 3 pairs of pants and 2 shirts. the pants are ALL a size 16!!! this is a HUGE deal for me. when i started this plan i was on the full side of a 20 with some 18s that fit me. NOW i am at a 16. not all 16s fit me, but i got some great looking pants that will last through the next transition phase as well... i am thinking i have a couple months before they look too baggy. i almost started crying between my happy dances in the dressing room. i have not been this size since i left for college. when i left for school i was just starting to fit in a 16, then of course i invented beer and taco bell so i got to where i was 6 weeks ago. i still have a ways to go and i know this, but my heart is still pounding at the thought that i am wearing a size 16!!! it was also a great moment when i was able to look at clothes at kohls that weren't in the "women's" section. i said something to mom about "where is the womens section" and she said "i don't think you need the womens", she was right. yay for that!!!
i almost went out to celebrate tonight. sadly my internal voice said no. i need stay focused for this weekend and the first part of the week since i know that i have some events this upcoming weekend. plus i didn't eat anywhere close to plan while at apple fest today (but the dumplings were so worth it!!!). there is also something going on with me health wise, not sure yet what it is. went to the dr on friday and she ran some blood work and chest x-rays. i should hear back on monday. i am not too concerned about it, but my body wasn't comfortable enough to go out either.
tip for today: my tip tonight is short and simple: the peanut butter crunch bars are GROSS!!! ok they aren't completely terrible but seeing as how i have the dbl chocolate and the cookie dough bars, these things are just not good. i bought them to help curb my cravings for peanut butters (since i was on a big pb kick right before starting this). amazingly enough, i don't have a craving for pb *just CHEESE!!!*. so when you go to buy the bars, i don't suggest that one! luckily i only bought one box so i have to suffer through like 4 more i think.
happy eating! :o)