so it has been almost a year (about 19 days short to be exact) since my last post. so much has happened in that year, far too much for me to write about. however, of late i have been thinking more and more about how i really wanted to start writing again. this time... it won't be about the weight loss. but i feel it necessary for me to finish that journey with you via update (although it is still on going) but then to follow it with my newest post.
about a year ago i decided to stop going to slim 4 life. mostly because i no longer wanted to be looked at disapprovingly for my choices like having a couple beers with friends or going out to eat. it wasn't that i was doing them excessively but even once and they would treat it almost like it was the end of the world. i will still fully support anyone who chooses this program as i think it is a FANTASTIC way to lose weight!!! however, at that point in my life (and to this day) i don't think it is what i need anymore. over the past year i did a fairly decent job of maintaining my weight loss. however about a few months ago i started to realize that my maintaining was hitting the higher end of the scale. i had gone from 197 to about 210-215 depending on the day. i decided to fix this and started to watch what i ate, portion sizes, and all the things i had learned before. i am proud to say i am now down to 193 and am still maintaining the healthy lifestyle so i am still losing. i feel better about myself and i am looking forward to what is to come from this journey. some posts may still pertain to this, but from here on out it will be more about my random thoughts and ramblings.
which leads me to the purpose of tonights post. i have to preface this post with the fact that i am a believer in signs. not in this absolute a sign is the end all be all of things. however i do believe that signs are given to us to show us the way/path we are supposed to travel down. over the past few days one sign has been reoccurring in my life and i feel that perhaps it is time i explore the depths of this sign. at work i am researching the realm of faith and kids/teens. what does faith mean to them, how do they express this, and what helps them grow in their personal faith.
it is not unusual for the work i do to impact my life, but when other aspects about faith start to pop up i can't help but believe that this is a sign. tonight, as i was doing a word search (one of my favorite past times) i realized that the search was for key words from my favorite biblical passage. it is from the book of Ruth 1:16. The passage reads "But Ruth replied "don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God me God."
This verse has always been powerful to me. I can't explain why or even begin to explain the emotions that it draws from me, but none the less it has had an impact on me. So imagine my surprise that out of the whole bible this verse pops up at the same time that I am doing so much research on faith. To me this is a sign.
For the past several years i have "strayed" from what i have known to be my religion. i have always kept a faith in God and that higher power but have neglected going to church and fully exploring all the ways that God can be a part of my life. In a sense I guess you could say that I have been "the lamb" that is lost and i can't help but take these signs as God's way of guiding me back to him.
i have decided to start the journey of embracing faith, in whatever sense it is that makes me feel fulfilled, and finding my relationship with God again. this may not sound like a big deal, but to me it is. i feel that it is time that i embrace the relationship that is steadfast and unchanging with my creator. in preparation for this change i can't help but wonder what changes he has in store for my life and where this new journey might lead me. giving up the control of my life is a hard thing for me to face but there is a sense of comfort and need that is brewing from deep inside that is telling me that returning to the church is what is best for me.
now the trick is to find where it is i belong. i have grown up knowing the religion of Lutheran better than others, followed closely by that of the baptist church. while i know a little about other religions, i think now might be the time that explore more and find where my home really lies. my gut tells me that i will fall back in to the Lutheran faith and hold it as what feels the closest to my heart but for now i anticipate the journey that is ahead of me. i know that no matter what "religion" i choose that i have God by my side to support me and guide me to where it is that i belong.
perhaps you are about to embark on your own journey...
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