so she won't have to.

Normally I try to keep this blog to talking about diet related things. Well, this is related... sort of. Part of dieting is exercise and what better way to exercise than to walk right?

For years my passion has been in supporting Susan G. Koman and the efforts behind trying to find a cure for Breast Cancer. With so many women AND men (close to 200,000 people in 2008) being diagnosed each year, it is important that we find a cure. About 2 years ago I actually had wanted to take part in the 3-day walk in Atlanta, GA but the cost to enter along with the trip out there was more than I could do without at least a years worth of planning and training. I still donate money to the cause every year though.

This year, I have signed up to participate I have signed up to participate in the Greater KC Race for a Cure on Aug 9. My passion toward finding a cure and my hope that one day my niece won't have to worry about this disease has motivated me to participate in this major event. I have pledged to raise $400, but would love to raise more. For every $300 that is raised, 6 women can get a free mammogram. If I raise $500, 10 women have this same opportunity.

Please go to my website http://www.active.com/donate/KC2009/kc2009LGottsc and help me in my efforts to find a cure and stop this horrible disease. Any support you can provide is appreciated!!!

**In case you don't notice, my theme is "so she won't have to". While I can say she is any girl that is growing up now, but my main drive is my niece.

wii want to play

on my trip out to NY my sister introduced me (finally) to the joys of the wii. i am hooked!!! she had the wii sport, wii play, and recently had purchased the wii fit. on my trip we played every game on the wii play at least once (some of them multiple times), played about half the games on the wii sport (i rock at baseball... sometimes), and then i stepped on the wii fit.

after only one day of playing, my body was sore for about 3 days. mostly it was my right arm and both of my legs. i think it was mostly because of my doing so much on the balance board and working out my shins, but who knows. either way, i decided that i needed to do some research and see if this was an investment i was willing to make. for those of you who look in to it, they aren't cheap!

the research i found says that while they don't burn as many calories as performing the actual activities themselves (i.e. bowling or baseball), these activities burn more than sedentary video games, and are better than nothing at all. there really wasn't a whole lot that i found on the wii fit, but i know that it at least worked some things. so... i broke down and bought it as well. i will call this part of my work-out room purchases. ;o)

so the wii should arrive tomorrow or wednesday. the thing i am dreading, and you should know this if you ever decide to create a wii fit account, is that they are mean! when you first create the account they weigh you and do a bmi and establish your weight goals and what not. after determining your bmi and weight, they kindly adjust your mii character to "fit" your measurements. imagine my look of horror when my mii character at my sisters became "fluffy" and i was standing next to my sister and my brother in-law who both are portrayed as twigs. it was rather sad and yet amusing at the same time. oh well, i guess it is motivation. work out so your mii character doesn't look like a balloon.

well that is all for now. feel free to join me for a wii game or two. i am a pro at cow racing and hula hooping.

climbing on and off the wagon

so this past month has been a bit of a coaster ride with the weight loss. i started out the summer doing pretty well, had gone below 200 and was maintaining around 195. unfortunately the many events post that kind of changed things a bit. as i have stated, traveling doesn't do well for a diet... and i have a tendency to not stick to things as well as i should to minimize the damage. i have never gained a great deal on any single trip, but let's face it any gain is a couple steps back.

in may i took my trip to the carolinas, in june i took a trip up to NY to see my sister, this past weekend i went on a weekend long float trip... all of these presented a bit of a set back. don't get me wrong, i would not trade any of these trips for anything. i had a great time on all of them and wouldn't change anything. i would also like to note that this was the first time i shimmied myself into a swimming suit in public in about 2.5 YEARS or longer!!! however, i am now back in the mode of "gotta get on track". i stepped on the scale after the float trip knowing it was going to be the worst i had seen it in a long time. let's face it, you can't expect to see a good number when for 2 days you consumed a great deal of alcohol and all sorts of food that was off plan. in fact, looking at my food intake from that weekend i don't think i ate much of anything that would be considered on plan. to make matters worse, i most definitely wasn't getting enough water in my system. oh and to make matters worse, right before i left on the canoe trip i got sick *with a form of strep i think* and i started taking some antibiotics. as i have talked about before, antibiotics will make you retain water as well.

me in my new swimming suit! i am actually a fan of it!

so the scale was tipping close to 205. my heart sank a little but instead of getting upset i just took it as some motivation. first thing was to start getting my water levels back up. i knew i was retaining water badly since my ring was fitting snugly, something it hasn't done in about 6 months. i also started taking my vitamins and getting back on track with supplements. finally i started getting better about the food i was eating. i am not saying great because i have had a few "off" meals. however, i am proud to report that when i stepped on the scale tonight the numbers came in at 199. gotta say, i am happy to be back down but i have to keep it that way.

the next few weekends are going to be a bit hard as well. this weekend i have a wedding to go to and i have no clue what is on the menu but i do know there will be some beverage consumption. this time it will be in moderation though! :o) next weekend, 4th of july, i will be heading up to omaha to see my aunt. again with the traveling, but i have faith that the trip won't be a complete wash on my diet accomplishments. after that life should settle back into a semi-normal routine and i can focus more on getting to goal.

final news is that i obtained a new "toy". my extreme dislike of working out in a crowded gym drove me to stop going to 24 hour fitness when the new years rush came in. since them i haven't really gone back. my membership expired last week and i chose not to renew it. instead i spent less money than i would have for the membership and i bought the tony little gazelle. i am pretty excited. now i just need to figure out where to set it up. i am thinking that i want to slowly start building up my own home fitness collection. dvds- check, gazelle- check, wish list... tread mill and maybe some sort of ab or arm machine. who knows where all of it will go but i think i can manage to make room down the road.

that's all for now. i will leave you with a picture. i took this tonight, some time soon i will work on doing another before and after comparison. until then... hope all is well in your worlds!

then and now

the 19th was my birthday. for the past 4 years it has been tradition that i celebrate my birthday with my good friend sarah. this year of course was no exception. so i took off for fayetteville, nc on the 20th, i also made a stop in myrtle beach, sc to see my aunt and my cousin for the first couple of days of my trip.

i had a great visit with both my family and my friends. it is always nice to get away from home for a bit. this trip meant a lot to me because it was a reward for my hard work. plus i had some great conversations with the various people i went to see.

one of the things i wanted to do was recreate some photos that were taken on my trip in 08. sadly we didn't actually get that done but i wanted to still share some photos of then and now. it is sad to say that i look at pictures of me then and realize i had no clue how i looked. i didn't realize how large i was, how unhappy i was, and how oblivious to my obesity that i was. i can for sure say these photos help reassure me that i will NEVER be where i was before. plus it is fun to see photographically the change i have made! :o) enjoy!

This is sarah, me, and greg at The Highlander last year.

This is me and sarah at The Highlander this year. :o) sorry for the fuzziness, the bartender kinda sucked at the photo taking.

This is me and sarah at Charlies last year (i now seriously hate that shirt!)

This is me and Sarah at Beef O'Brady's (Charlies was closed on Sunday) this year. So my hair and NC weather... doesn't get along but that is ok. :o)

Final photo of me and sarah at the house last year "getting our booze on".

This is the photo wendy took of me at her house on Thursday after we spent the afternoon on the beach and driving around town.

Does anyone else think i might have changed a bit in a year? :o)

photos

since they have been "demanded" here are some photos from the last two nights. enjoy!

This is my friend jim. he and his wife are being re-stationed to germany so not only were we celebrating my b-day, we were also enjoy the last time we would get to see each other. i will miss him.

tricia... what can i say. she isn't even close to being drunk here. i have to love her. she made night 2 of birthday celebrations FANTASTIC.

and last... me. this is what tricia and theresa did at dinner. i don't know why i thought that they wouldn't. i look hot though... right?

keep truckin

about the middle of last week i hit a new milestone. i officially hit 195 lbs. i am OUT of the 200s!!!! I honestly can't remember the last time i was there. I am pretty sure it was some time in high school but even then it would have been like freshman year or somewhere close to that. so we are looking at at least 12 years. it feels AMAZING!!!

that said... the past couple of days have not been the best at sticking to plan. with my birthday just around the corner, my celebrations have started. we had a couple at work, i went out friday night and had a few drinks, and then last night we went to dinner and had a couple drinks as well. i don't think i went completely overboard but i am sure the numbers will show tomorrow. so i am just jumping back on the wagon and trucking along.

i leave on vacation on wednesday so i recognize that while i am away from home i will still not be completely on plan. however i will be on the east coast so fish/seafood should be plenty and fresh so i can spice up my life a bit with that.

i hope all is well with everyone.

pay it forward

back in january i met a girl named rebecca. rebecca is by no means a big girl. in fact she is, in my opinion, a perfect size. however i learned through this whole thing that i really don't get to judge when people who are unhappy with their appearance. that said, i find it rather irritating when girls who are of a healthy size sit at a table and constantly make comments about "i'm so fat" more to have others validate that they don't actually need too. i digress...
i met rebecca in january and she found out how much weight i had lost by then. i actually even showed her a picture from then so she could see the change. at that time i think i was around 53 lbs down. that is when she told me that she wanted to lose a little weight, not a lot but enough that she could feel healthy again. i promised her i would get her the information about slim4life that i have so she could follow it on her own. sadly, i didn't see her again until mid march.

when i saw her again, i gave her the packet aka "tool" she would need to follow plan in its most basic format. basically it was the food list and portions for the plan. i told her if she ever had questions to please let me know and i would gladly help her in any way i could. i didn't see her after that night. it has now been about a month and tonight i got to see her again.

she asked me if i was still losing and i told her the magic number that i have hit (68lbs) thus far. then we started discussing her progress. she started the plan and has lost 18lbs thus far (she wants to lose around 30 she says). she was so excited to tell me about her progress and how easy she found the plan to follow. she raved about how she wasn't hungry or starving, and she liked what she was making. she asked a couple questions and i gave her a couple extra tips to help keep the spice up in the diet. mostly i told her about seasonings and ways to cook things so they maintain their flavor and don't take as long. you see rebecca has 4 kids ranging from 12 months to 13 years old so her time is a little tapped.

i was so excited to hear that i had helped someone through my journey. i still believe that this diet isn't for everyone but i think that most people could follow it and see results. she is doing it without going to the clinic and i could be happier for her. so tip your glass to rebecca today for all of her hard work. maybe she will pay it forward and inspire someone as well (i do know she is trying to fix healthier meals for her kids more often).

beating the muffin

it is no secret that bread is one of my biggest weaknesses. i love sandwiches, toast, muffins, and i guess if you wanted to throw cake/cupcakes into the mix since they are kind of like bread right? at work the cafe has these very yummy chocolate chocolate chip muffins. they are bigger than the average muffin and oh so tasty. in doing a google search on them, i found out they are also at least 350+ calories, sometimes much more. obviously... NOT GOOD for plan. really any muffin, even the fruit ones, are not good because there is so much sugar in them. this chocolate muffin has become my weakness.

for the past month or so this muffin has been a part of my morning routine. while having my morning coffee and supplement (usually one of drink mixes in my coffee) i have had a muffin. seeing how i am trying to get back on track the muffins really need to go. however i seem to hear them calling me through the 3 floors between my office and the cafe. today i decided, instead of getting this really bad for you muffin i would go for the healthier option. the cafe also offers a weight watchers chocolate muffin. i am assuming it is lower in calorie and i will have to check that when i am done blogging. they are also much smaller than the other muffin. amazingly enough, this new muffin satisfied the craving for the other one and i didn't feel as guilty about eating it either. my goal is by the end of next week to not even need the muffin (wow it sounds like a drug huh?).

here is to hoping i can beat the muffin! :o)

back to the land of posting

... with an accurate drivers license!!!

after almost 3 months of not posting i have hit the goal that i wanted to for a while now. but before we get to the present let's go through a quick run down of the past 2+ months on/off the diet.

over the past several months a lot of things have gone on. i found out it is really hard to be in a relationship with someone and stick to plan when you aren't comfortable telling them you are on a diet. it is also hard when most of your relationship involved eating or drinking (and while that also means other things about said relationship we won't get too much in to that). i realized i stopped caring about the diet as much and sort of threw everything i had been so disciplined about to the wind. i am still trying to figure out why it was so hard to tell him that i was trying to lose weight but i have absolutely no problem publishing it to the world wide web. to add an extra twist to this confusion... he and i met and actually started a relationship last summer a couple months before i started the plan (it didn't go anywhere then). that means it isn't like he couldn't see that i had lost a lot of weight already. then again i can't say that he really cared either, perhaps that feeds in to why we weren't/aren't meant to be.

i also found that i still turn to food for comfort, just less so. in march my grandmother passed away. while this is a difficult thing for anyone, i hurt a little more because with her passing went a few dreams i had had. she was my last grandparent that was living and i had always found a comfort that at least that generation of my family would be represented on my wedding day because she would be there. i know that sounds weird, and in typing it almost selfish, but it is how i feel. i hate the fact that whatever man comes in to my life will not truly understand the stories we share about her and her feisty personality. through the sadness, i found i turned to food for comfort. no where near like i would have a year ago, but more than was appropriate for attempting to lose weight.

shortly after my grandmothers passing i went on a vacation (of sorts) to new orleans. i went down for a conference but had two friends join me for the weekend so we could spend some time together. it was the first time i had seen one of them in 4 years and the other had only seen pictures of my progress. let's face it, photos don't really show the changes as well as in person as many family members can attest to when they came to visit. a couple things occurred on this trip. the first is that i did not eat on plan at all. i figured that would happen since the whole month before i hadn't really been "behaving" and i was in my favorite city that it is filled with good drinks, yummy food, and so many choices to partake in both. the other thing that happened was a response i was not used to about the weight loss. almost all of my friends have been supportive of the loss, and while some of them might make comments that are a bit out of line, they have always expressed how happy and excited they are for me. sadly, that trip produced more comments about "well you're the b***h that is a size 12 now" or things along those lines. instead of support and excitement from the two people i thought would be the happiest for me (they were after all my best friends), i got slams and insults for my weight loss and many other things. it goes to show you, not everyone will be supportive of your weight loss when it impacts their life. in these cases you need to just chalk up the loss (or at least change) of a friendship and remember that you are bettering yourself. After all, had i not lost weight i was taking years off of my life and that was years less they would have had to spend with me.

so that brings us to the last month. unfortunately with a month and a half of eating off plan it was hard to get back on. more so now than it was when i started. i was lucky that in my choices i had never gone above 210 lbs (which is about 3 lbs above where i was when i started this diet sabbatical). over these couple of months my weight has fluctuated between 210 and 205. perhaps part of the reason that i found it so hard to get back on plan was because in one aspect i had reached my goal. i was able to purchase size 12 clothing. however, i decided this past week that being a size 12 wasn't good enough for me. i wanted to get that number when i stepped on the scale!!! so i rededicated myself to plan, and with a few hic-cups here and there, i am doing well. so well in fact that today when i stepped on the scale, i was at 200lbs. this means that 1) MY DRIVERS LICENSE IS ACCURATE for the first time ever i think. 2) i only have 20 more lbs to lose, and 3) i have lost 67 lbs.

i also got to have a little motivational chat with my friend carrie. if you recall she is the one who got me started on this whole thing last summer. she started in feb 08 and to date has lost 196 lbs and she looks AMAZING. she still has about 15 more lbs to go to reach her goal weight, but she has also told me she wants to lose about 35 more lbs over-all so she can be classified as "normal" on the bmi scale. she has been struggling the last couple of months as well. her fluctuations have been a bit more drastic (up 8, lose it again, up 9, lost it again, up 7, lose it again, etc.) but she is getting back on plan too. we both found comfort in knowing we weren't going through it alone and being able to voice our frustrations and concerns with someone who is living the EXACT SAME SITUATION. i think we also both provided the swift kick in the back side that we needed to move on. we have come SO FAR and in just a little bit more time we will be able to start living life normally. we both realize that we will always have to be cautious about our food choices but if we can get this far we know we have the tools we need.

ok, well that is your update for now. in a nutshell... a crazy 2+ months of getting on and off plan, going up and down in weight, and several changes in my personal life, and we are finally back on track. i'm so excited to be where i am and to celebrate i bought some new clothes. although i was able to purchase a size 12, it was only from a couple stores. i am now able to slip myself into a size 11/12 from almost any store (unless it is a dress). i am also wearing a size L in most shirts with the occasional XL or M thrown in the mix. it is so nice to have the new clothes and be able to enjoy the new body a bit more. plus with it being spring time that means more skin exposed... i am ok with this now. i might even start wearing shorts! :o)

BIG NEWS

i went to the center today to weigh it. apparently they are learning that i don't come in as much as i should so stop putting me in the inactive. :o)

anyway... I HIT 60 lbs. that's right folks, i have lost 60 lbs since august!!!! only 27 more lbs to go!!! :o)

i did warn them again that in about 7 or 8 lbs i will probably bawl like a little kid since i don't every remember being under 200 lbs. (yes that means i am at 207 right now). i am doing a dance in my chair and thought seriously about doing a cart-wheel when i left the center. i didn't but i thought about it!

hope you all are doing well on your healthier lifestyle! remember, if i can do it so can you!

long time no post

well i figured it was time for an update.

i went to the center on tuesday (yes i know that was a while ago) and found out that i was down to 57 lbs. while I haven't been back i am down probably about 59 lbs... well at least that is what my scale says. i can't say that this will stay that way since the rest of this week was spent doing all sorts of off plan things. Pizza on thursday, beer, sushi, and bar food on friday, thai food today, and i am going for drinks this evening for a friends birthday. Tomorrow will not be any different since i have a meeting over dinner at the deli. Oh well, it was a busy week so i don't feel that bad about it.

my highlight happened on wednesday day when i decided i needed to buy some new shirts. i am down to about 4 shirts that i can wear that don't look like a sack. i had about 5 but on wednesday my mom told me one of them looked like a sack so it has been retired. :o) anyway, when i went shopping i started out getting slightly down because nothing was fitting right or looking good. then i went to ny & co. i haven't shopped at this store since my freshman year of college. i took in LOTS of clothes. the first batch of shirts looked horrid, i felt like i was wearing a pup-tent. the second set was a bit too tight. i ended up walking out with 3 shirts that look pretty good!

the best part though was with the pants. knowing that i wear a size 14 in jeans now i figured the dress pants would be a 16 since they are usually a big snug. i brought in several 16 talls. when i walked out in a pair one of the ladies that works there said those are too long and WAY too big. what size did you take in? i told her a 16 and she said "what the hell did you do that for?" while i was telling her that i wasn't sure what my real size was another worker came up and commented on the pants being too big. the first girl told her they were 16's and the new friend said "what??? umm no, what do you need a 10?" i could have smooched her! i ended up walking out with a 14 average. they fit perfectly now but will most likely be too baggy in a few weeks which is ok because they were on sale!

that is about the extent of my diet excitement. in other news... after a month, i FINALLY got my car back yesterday. perhaps after this evening i will have some more photos to post of me. we will see! :o)

hope you are all doing well!

maybe it isn't me

tonight i went to the center to weigh in. down .5 lbs. not the number one would hope to see but that is ok. i did have an interesting conversation with the lady i sat with tonight. the first time i saw her she and i did not hit it off. by the 3rd visit i sat with her i decided i didn't want to meet with her again. well tonight i didn't have a lot of choice. the other ladies were busy and i didn't want to wait for a while. so we sat and this time she was much better.

she was very excited about the loss, small as it may be. she told me how well i was doing and also offered up some information that had not been offered yet. apparently when your metabolism hits a point where it is becoming accustomed to the herbs it is taking to stimulate it (the metabolizer that i take 6 a day) your weight loss numbers decrease. they have a second metabolizer that is a different blend of herbs that you can purchase and take for a month. after the month you go back to the original blend but that month gives your metabolism a shock if you will.

i decided not to purchase it this week, perhaps next week once this whole car ordeal is sorted out. yes that is correct, 3 weeks after the accident and i STILL don't have my car. fingers crossed that i get it tomorrow!!! anyway, perhaps this is another answer to why things are slow in the loss department. i am not saying it is not mostly my fault for not sticking to plan but also recognizing that i haven't been 100% on plan since the first month and i have still lost there may be more to it that the little cheats i have. so perhaps next week i will purchase this new herb and see where it goes.

i did find it funny that i thought to myself "but i haven't seen that on e-bay!!!". then i realized if people get to the point that they are going to take this version of the herb, they are probably sticking out the plan and won't be selling their goods online. sadly that means i will have to pay full price for these, which is $130. doesn't sound like a lot but at the same time... it is.

anyway, that is the latest news. hope all is well in your worlds. keep up the hard work! great works of art aren't completed in short amounts of time right???

happy eating!

at last an update

well as i have been saying all along, last week i did not behave according to the plan. yet today when i finally went back to the center (yes i had not been in a week), the numbers said i was down about 2 lbs. so not bad after cheating like i did. this isn't the best news on the other side though. my average is less than 2 lbs a week and i only have 10 weeks left to get to goal before i have to purchase more weeks. on a more positive look though, if i can keep myself disciplined, that is about 3 lbs a week which shouldn't be hard if i follow plan. the other news is that i am finally 1 lb away from switching to plan 1, meaning i have 31 lbs left to lose (hence the 3 lbs a week needed).

it is hard to believe it has been 20 weeks already. some days it seems like much longer, other days it seems like i just started this journey a week or two ago.

well here is to a new week and a fresh start on plan. hope all is well with you on your journey!
happy eating!

for fun

diet this week has been a bit screwy. as i stated in my last post this week i did a lot of little cheats here and there which prevented me from seeing a big number loss. either way when i stepped on my own scale today it appears as though i may be at the 57 lbs (which means i only have 30 left). we will see if the numbers at the center match on monday but even if they don't that is ok.

today i did decided i needed to look at new shirts since i don't have a whole lot. i realized this after doing a purge of clothes that don't fit me anymore last weekend. i have a stack that comes up to my hip that don't fit! this is great to see but then when i look at my closet and see that it is rather bare... there is a bit of sadness. i really did like some of the stuff that doesn't fit anymore. oh well out with the old in with the new.

while at the store looking at shirts (which i found 2) i decided for fun i would try on a pair of jeans. i was shopping at my new favorite store, gordmans, because they have cheap prices and when i am burning through clothes every couple of months i don't want to spend a lot on them. this is where i bought my size 14 jeans. today i tried on a pair of size 12. i did not purchase them because they did not flatter my body yet. the excitement i got from this was in the fact that not only was i able to pull them up (something i would not have been able to do 2 or 3 months ago), i was able to button them even. unfortunately, after buttoning them i still had a bit excess body that was being pushed up and over. so not there yet... but we are getting there right?!?!

hope you have a great weekend! happy eating!

slow going

well sadly i haven't had much to post about this past week. i have been deviating from plan a little each day so my loss has not been exciting. as of tuesday i had lost 1lb so i am down 54 lbs over all. the plan was to be down 57 by this weekend but with my little cheats here and there that isn't going so well. not gaining though so that is always a bonus. i am just not losing either.

on the flip side of that apparently my inches are still going down little by little. a few weeks ago i had purchased 2 new pairs of work pants that were a size 16. mind you in jeans i can fit in a size 14 because they have a bit of stretch to them. as most people know dress pants have virtually no give in the waist band so going for a size that is too small just looks HORRID on a person. as the line goes "looks like two pigs fighting under a blanket" and while it is talking about a dress... it still fits this situation. the past two days i have worn each pair and noticed that not only is the waist band loser around my mid-section but the way it fits around my thighs and hips is a bit roomier too.

at this point in time i am at a cross roads. the numbers is what the center looks at but like most women my goal is based on clothing size. as i would still like to see both decrease i get excited over a loss in both ways. so as the number of lbs is not moving along as i would like it to, the loss in inches is still keeping my motivation up enough that i am not going out and throwing all my hard work away. i just need to learn to curb that sweet tooth again. stupid jelly beans! :o) anyway, i hope everyone that started the path to a healthier lifestyle is doing well. remember that after a few weeks it might get a little bit harder. just push on through that rough spot and focus on the main goal. it isn't just about the loss in inches or lbs it is about becoming healthier!!! heck on the biggest loser this week one fella started out on 10 medications and insulin, now after 3 weeks of being on the ranch he has dropped down to 1 medication and only a fraction of the insulin he had been taking. another fella has stopped taking all 8 of the medications he started with. keep pushing through, you can do this! :o)

happy eating!

comparison shopping

i had a little fun with photo editing today. this is a semi before and after photo. using the same photo i always use as the before of course. I bet you all will be happy when i get done with this and i get the before pictures they took at the center right? :o)

anyway, this is that photo and one i took today using my webcam. i hate the quality of webcams but sadly my camera was stolen so this is what he have to work with. :o) sorry it is so small.

flashback (not flashdance)

i remember the day that i first went to the center for my class, i met a woman. she had told me how she had done slim4life once before and had great results but after her loss she stopped doing the things she was supposed to and gained back the weight. i remember thinking, when she told me that she had lost 50 lbs, how nice it would be to lose 50 lbs. as much faith as i had in the program i didn't honestly trust completely that it would work. let's face it going through no less than 10 diets since you were in middle school with little to no progress makes you lose faith in diets as a whole.

today as i stepped on the scale in the center and saw the number 215.2 pop up i had a flash back to that moment in august. i have done it. not only have i lost 50 lbs, i have lost 52 lbs!!! i have 35 lbs left before i hit my goal weight!!! plus the week isn't even over yet so who knows where we will be by saturday. i can't begin to express how excited i am!!!

the other big accomplishment of this number, 52 lbs, is that i am no longer classified as "obese" on the bmi scale. granted, it still says i am overweight, but when i started out so close to the obese (very severe) section i think overweight is a great place to be! by the time this is all said and done i will either be in the low range of overweight or the high end of normal. no matter where it ends though, i feel healthy and i know i have added years on to my life again. that is after all what i wanted, years. i wanted to make sure that i would be here for many years to spend time with my family and watch my sweet baby hep grow up. well hep... you're stuck with me for a while kiddo!!! :o)

mom said i needed a photo to mark 50. sadly my camera has seemed to start a game of hide and seek and it is a GREAT hider... or i suck as a seeker. so here is one from tonight via the digital camera. i realized after i took it that white may not be a good color for someone as pasty as me, i seem to blend with the shirt, but none-the-less here you go.

i also decided tuck needed to get in on the photo action as well!

here he is making his blog debut! do you see the remains of his latest toy??? that would be one of my dress socks.

happy eating!!

attention

ahem....


i have reached the 50 lb mark.


the end.

art on a plate

lots of updates here, well maybe not lots but a few.

accident: i took my car to be looked at by the local ford dealership to have them tell me if it was in fact drivable. i was mostly concerned about the air bag deploying in my face when i was driving but i also wanted them to check the guts of the car for damage. after a bit of pushing, the man finally looked at my car and determined it wasn't drivable. there is damage to the radiator and it is leaking coolant. for who knows how long now i am cruising around in a ford focus. besides feeling like i am driving a go-cart (big change from an escape to a focus) there is no CRUISE CONTROL!!! that drives me crazy but oh well, i will live.

loss: i went in to the center saturday morning and found that i am now 1.5 lbs lower than i was before the holiday gain. what that means was last week i had a 3 lb loss that only counts for 1.5 lbs. weird right? unfortunately my numbers in loss are now averaging less than 3 lbs a week so they are doing a plateau breaker. for monday and tuesday i have to eat 2 eggs and a 1/2 an orange for breakfast, drink supplement for mid morning, 6 oz of chicken and 2 cups of lettuce for lunch, drink supplement for mid afternoon, and then 4 oz of beef, 2 cups of lettuce, and the other half of the orange for dinner. on wednesday i return back to the regular plan. this sounds much nicer than the 7 day break since it is only 2 days. :o)

title: well the updates are done now, but i still haven't explained the title. today while making my lunch i realized that i made art on a plate. it was pretty and yummy!!! so pretty in fact that i took pictures.

this is my french toast with strawberries (equals 2 starch servings and 1 fruit serving, and the egg for the toast is about 1-1.5 servings of protein)

this is my...ermm... egg thing. (1 small tomato, 1/2 c. spinach, 1/2 c. mushrooms, and 1-1.5 eggs for protein). lots to eat but so tasty!

well lets hope tomorrows visit to the center shows good numbers and the breaker does its job!

happy eating!!!

accident

i knew i had to blog about this when it happened but i didn't realize until later that there is a part of this story that DOES relate to the diet. since i try to keep this diet oriented i don't feel as bad about sharing this story.

to preface this story we have to go back about 10 years ago. when i was a new driver about 15-16ish i got in a car accident. completely my fault mind you. i rear ended a suburban and totaled my car. since then i have been a VERY cautious driver. i don't speed (that is probably more for the one... ok two times i was pulled over for speeding) and i am very aware of the drivers around me. because of this i always figured if i was going to get in another accident it WOULDN'T be my fault.

i was right!

around 5 pm this evening i was stopped at a stop sign waiting to cross traffic to go weigh in. i was actually pretty pumped about weighing in because i knew i would show a good number in loss. all of a sudden a station wagon looking car turns across traffic in front of an on coming probe. as you can guess there was an accident. the probe hit the front side of the station wagon and then the station wagon ran head on into me.

to ease your fears, i am fine. i do have a slight bruise across my chest from the seat belt and my chest and back are both getting a little more sore as the night goes on, but that is to be expected. the car, as far as we can tell thus far, only sustained minimal damage. while one passenger from the probe was taken to the hospital it did not appear to be major injuries and the other two drivers were fine. damage to my car consists of a crack in the front bumper, the grill, and the air bag light has come on although it did not deploy. tomorrow i will get more information about any internal damage (including the air bag) when i take it in to the body shop. while i am irritated about the car i am very thankful that i am ok, the other people involved are ok, and my car is still drivable (we think at least), this story has some funny parts that i simply must share.

they always say you should have clean underwear on when you get in an accident... they forget to mention you should be dressed in a presentable fashion as well. since i was going to weigh in i switched out of my jeans and into scrub pants, jeans add more weight so i always weigh in in scrubs or dress pants. unfortunately i decided since i was only going to weigh in and they don't care what i wear at the center and i wasn't going anywhere else, i didn't change tops. there i stood after the accident, on the intersection of a major street at 5pm (yay for rush hour) wearing a lovely satin top with a black sweater over it (view the nye pictures since it was the same top), navy blue scrub pants, and bright blue crocs! i was looking HOT!!! i can tell you this, the accident happened less than 1/2 a block from my house and i seriously thought about leaving the scene of an accident, with my car as a guarantee that i would be back, to go change back into my jeans. alas i am a good citizen and didn't... i just let everyone enjoy the lovely ensemble while praying they were looking more at the other cars that were damaged more than mine instead of my outfit.

amazingly enough, in the midst of all this mayhem and foolishness that could ruin a person's day, one of the police officers (there were 6 on the scene) made my day. while taking my information for the report he is asking me my dob, employer, if i was wearing my glasses, if i was on my cell phone, my height, and so on. all the while he has my dl in his hand. when he gets to my weight he points the number on my dl and says "now this can't be right". **more history lesson** my dl has said i weigh 200 lbs since i was 16. that weight was not right when i listed it nor has it EVER been right! in fact when i listed it the first time i was probably about 245 and moving up to about 280 +, i have just never felt the need to change it and they (the folks at the dmb) have never challenged it. **back to present time** i tell him no, it is actually about 218. he looks at me with this shocked/dumbfounded look on his face and said "wow, I was going to guess it was a hell of a lot lower than this!" i tell you what, i could have smooched that man!!! tacky outfit and all he thought that i weighed less than 200 lbs! talk about a great compliment out of no where! :o)

i was told i could go shortly after that so there is only one last piece of my accident tale, it is not diet related though. while on their way home from work my best friend tricia and her husband ross were driving down said main road. of course they noticed the accident but tricia quickly noticed me and then my car. she sent me a text instantly asking if i was ok, after i replied she asked about my car, i told her i would call after i was done with the police. sadly i never made it to the center because i went to their house to have a beverage and laugh about the whole thing (and bitch a little too of course). i realized how blessed i am with them though when they both were genuinely concerned (ross even came out to evaluate the damage to my car) but also offered to pick me up or provide transportation to where ever i may need to go in case my car was not drivable. now that is true friends.

while i am never going to be thrilled about an accident i think this may be the best accident i could imagine being in (keep in mind i say this before i know the cost of anything and the insurance situations with the other drivers). i am ok, the car is ok so far, i got a compliment from the police officer, i provided a show for several people in op, i was shown again how fantastic my friends are, and finally *and maybe my favorite part* THE ACCIDENT WAS NOT MY FAULT THIS TIME!!!!!

happy eating... and safe driving! :o)

a sweet reminder

i went to the center today, the first time since the monday before new years eve, and have some sad news to report. i had stated that i hadn't gained over the past week, unfortunately numbers today said otherwise. i gained a little over a lb. <--- doesn't fit the title right??? here is the rest...

while the gain was sad, a few things made it bearable. first was the counselor i sat with today. for some reason every time i have been with her i have been less than thrilled. not that she was bad but she just didn't click with me like some of the others have. today she showed me a different side. she was very supportive and helpful with the gain. she reminded me of how far i have come and how close i am to my goal.

the second and most inspirational was how she helped me see the loss up to this point and to motivate me for the rest of the goal. at this point in time i have lost over 9 bags of sugar. seriously... when you think of how big those bags are, at 5 lbs a piece... i have dropped over 9 of those bad boys! with the same dedication and discipline that i demonstrated in the beginning of this journey i will quickly be able to claim a cool 10 bags down! part of me wanted to go out and purchase the 9 bags to keep around as a reminder of how far i have come. of course then reality kicks in and i have to wonder what on earth i would do with 45 lbs of sugar! perhaps the grocery store wouldn't mind if i just took a photo of 9 bags of sugar. :o)

anyway, this gain, while a set back really helped me get refocused. i haven't been practicing the same diligence that i started with and i need to get back to that. clothes don't seem to be a good motivation so we will now use the visual representation of the lbs lost as a motivation. hope this first week of healthy living has been a good one for those that have started a plan.

happy eating.

when you fall

i think i have found that one of the hardest things about dieting is the personal guilt and defeat you feel when you fall down. you know what you are supposed to be doing and how you are supposed to be eating, but when you give in to the temptation to eat or drink something you aren't supposed to you feel guilty. the hardest part is picking yourself back-up. there is a song called "accidents happen" by sixx:am, now the song itself is taking about someone who is fighting a drug addiction and falling off the wagon, but food is an addiction as well and it works. the lyrics say "it's okay, we all fall off the wagon sometimes. it's not your whole life! it's only one day, you haven't thrown everything away."

coming out of the nye and christmas week i didn't lose but i didn't gain because i gave in to the temptation. the nice thing is that i know that i am ok because i can get back up and start fighting again. i guess what i am trying to say is, if you fall remember how far you have come and realize that you haven't thrown it all away. just get back on plan and keep truckin. you can do it!!!

now some photos. these are from nye at the phoenix with some dear friends of mine. we had a BLAST!

this is me, mikey, and greg. i miss these fellas so much!

this is my great friend sarah.

this is roger. we actually went to high school but actually became friends recently when he started dating one of my friends. personally i LOVE this picture of us!

someone like me

this will be long so you might want to grab a snack...

over the past couple of weeks more and more people are asking me about my weight loss. what i am doing, how much i have lost, if i like the slim4life plan, and so on. i wanted to share this with you as it is the new year and weight loss is probably one of the biggest new years resolutions.

in august when i started the plan i had reached a weight that i was uncomfortable with. i was almost back to the largest i had ever been (my junior and most of year of high school was my heaviest time). i had started to look at things like gastric bypass and the lap band. i had had friends of mine go through the bypass and it has done great things for them but i also was very scared to go through it. then i saw carrie and she told me how much slim4life had done for her. she had started the plan on feb 2 and by august 10th she was down 138 lbs. this inspired me.

i have watched the shows like "the biggest loser" and while those are real people i had trouble relating to them. how many people can take 3 months off of their life to go to the ranch and do nothing but work-out and eat healthy. personally i know i can't! to add to that i also don't think i could spend that much time away from my family. i also watched the reunion clips that showed people gaining after the ranch because they were back in real life. the difference between what they did and what i saw with carrie was the "like me" aspect. i know carries life style (i have known carrie for about 8 years now) and i felt that if she could do it, i could too. she is someone real like me.

so i made the call and i started the plan. i can't say that i was scared it wouldn't work because i had seen what it could do. i also found a comfort in the fact that they not only helped me lose the weight but they also promised to teach me how to live in the real world and not gain the weight back. i can not even try to say it has been easy all the time, some days are easier and some days are much much harder. no matter what though, i see and feel the changes my body is going through. i would hands down recommend this plan to someone who wants to make a lifestyle change and become healthier.

that said, it is the new year and i know many people have made the comments that they want to start some sort of plan to get healthier. i know it isn't an easy choice to make. i encourage you to find something that work for your life style. a plan you can afford, that works with your life, and that makes you feel inspired. i would suggest finding one where you have a support system (i.e. the center that slim4life has, the counselors at jenny craig, or even friends you can go through it with) it makes a world of difference. i also want to offer myself as your support. i know it is hard and i will go through the changes with you. i will celebrate the accomplishments and be with you while you work through the tough parts. trust me, if i can do it... so can you!

happy new year! here is a toast to a new year and a new me!