maybe it isn't me

tonight i went to the center to weigh in. down .5 lbs. not the number one would hope to see but that is ok. i did have an interesting conversation with the lady i sat with tonight. the first time i saw her she and i did not hit it off. by the 3rd visit i sat with her i decided i didn't want to meet with her again. well tonight i didn't have a lot of choice. the other ladies were busy and i didn't want to wait for a while. so we sat and this time she was much better.

she was very excited about the loss, small as it may be. she told me how well i was doing and also offered up some information that had not been offered yet. apparently when your metabolism hits a point where it is becoming accustomed to the herbs it is taking to stimulate it (the metabolizer that i take 6 a day) your weight loss numbers decrease. they have a second metabolizer that is a different blend of herbs that you can purchase and take for a month. after the month you go back to the original blend but that month gives your metabolism a shock if you will.

i decided not to purchase it this week, perhaps next week once this whole car ordeal is sorted out. yes that is correct, 3 weeks after the accident and i STILL don't have my car. fingers crossed that i get it tomorrow!!! anyway, perhaps this is another answer to why things are slow in the loss department. i am not saying it is not mostly my fault for not sticking to plan but also recognizing that i haven't been 100% on plan since the first month and i have still lost there may be more to it that the little cheats i have. so perhaps next week i will purchase this new herb and see where it goes.

i did find it funny that i thought to myself "but i haven't seen that on e-bay!!!". then i realized if people get to the point that they are going to take this version of the herb, they are probably sticking out the plan and won't be selling their goods online. sadly that means i will have to pay full price for these, which is $130. doesn't sound like a lot but at the same time... it is.

anyway, that is the latest news. hope all is well in your worlds. keep up the hard work! great works of art aren't completed in short amounts of time right???

happy eating!

at last an update

well as i have been saying all along, last week i did not behave according to the plan. yet today when i finally went back to the center (yes i had not been in a week), the numbers said i was down about 2 lbs. so not bad after cheating like i did. this isn't the best news on the other side though. my average is less than 2 lbs a week and i only have 10 weeks left to get to goal before i have to purchase more weeks. on a more positive look though, if i can keep myself disciplined, that is about 3 lbs a week which shouldn't be hard if i follow plan. the other news is that i am finally 1 lb away from switching to plan 1, meaning i have 31 lbs left to lose (hence the 3 lbs a week needed).

it is hard to believe it has been 20 weeks already. some days it seems like much longer, other days it seems like i just started this journey a week or two ago.

well here is to a new week and a fresh start on plan. hope all is well with you on your journey!
happy eating!

for fun

diet this week has been a bit screwy. as i stated in my last post this week i did a lot of little cheats here and there which prevented me from seeing a big number loss. either way when i stepped on my own scale today it appears as though i may be at the 57 lbs (which means i only have 30 left). we will see if the numbers at the center match on monday but even if they don't that is ok.

today i did decided i needed to look at new shirts since i don't have a whole lot. i realized this after doing a purge of clothes that don't fit me anymore last weekend. i have a stack that comes up to my hip that don't fit! this is great to see but then when i look at my closet and see that it is rather bare... there is a bit of sadness. i really did like some of the stuff that doesn't fit anymore. oh well out with the old in with the new.

while at the store looking at shirts (which i found 2) i decided for fun i would try on a pair of jeans. i was shopping at my new favorite store, gordmans, because they have cheap prices and when i am burning through clothes every couple of months i don't want to spend a lot on them. this is where i bought my size 14 jeans. today i tried on a pair of size 12. i did not purchase them because they did not flatter my body yet. the excitement i got from this was in the fact that not only was i able to pull them up (something i would not have been able to do 2 or 3 months ago), i was able to button them even. unfortunately, after buttoning them i still had a bit excess body that was being pushed up and over. so not there yet... but we are getting there right?!?!

hope you have a great weekend! happy eating!

slow going

well sadly i haven't had much to post about this past week. i have been deviating from plan a little each day so my loss has not been exciting. as of tuesday i had lost 1lb so i am down 54 lbs over all. the plan was to be down 57 by this weekend but with my little cheats here and there that isn't going so well. not gaining though so that is always a bonus. i am just not losing either.

on the flip side of that apparently my inches are still going down little by little. a few weeks ago i had purchased 2 new pairs of work pants that were a size 16. mind you in jeans i can fit in a size 14 because they have a bit of stretch to them. as most people know dress pants have virtually no give in the waist band so going for a size that is too small just looks HORRID on a person. as the line goes "looks like two pigs fighting under a blanket" and while it is talking about a dress... it still fits this situation. the past two days i have worn each pair and noticed that not only is the waist band loser around my mid-section but the way it fits around my thighs and hips is a bit roomier too.

at this point in time i am at a cross roads. the numbers is what the center looks at but like most women my goal is based on clothing size. as i would still like to see both decrease i get excited over a loss in both ways. so as the number of lbs is not moving along as i would like it to, the loss in inches is still keeping my motivation up enough that i am not going out and throwing all my hard work away. i just need to learn to curb that sweet tooth again. stupid jelly beans! :o) anyway, i hope everyone that started the path to a healthier lifestyle is doing well. remember that after a few weeks it might get a little bit harder. just push on through that rough spot and focus on the main goal. it isn't just about the loss in inches or lbs it is about becoming healthier!!! heck on the biggest loser this week one fella started out on 10 medications and insulin, now after 3 weeks of being on the ranch he has dropped down to 1 medication and only a fraction of the insulin he had been taking. another fella has stopped taking all 8 of the medications he started with. keep pushing through, you can do this! :o)

happy eating!

comparison shopping

i had a little fun with photo editing today. this is a semi before and after photo. using the same photo i always use as the before of course. I bet you all will be happy when i get done with this and i get the before pictures they took at the center right? :o)

anyway, this is that photo and one i took today using my webcam. i hate the quality of webcams but sadly my camera was stolen so this is what he have to work with. :o) sorry it is so small.

flashback (not flashdance)

i remember the day that i first went to the center for my class, i met a woman. she had told me how she had done slim4life once before and had great results but after her loss she stopped doing the things she was supposed to and gained back the weight. i remember thinking, when she told me that she had lost 50 lbs, how nice it would be to lose 50 lbs. as much faith as i had in the program i didn't honestly trust completely that it would work. let's face it going through no less than 10 diets since you were in middle school with little to no progress makes you lose faith in diets as a whole.

today as i stepped on the scale in the center and saw the number 215.2 pop up i had a flash back to that moment in august. i have done it. not only have i lost 50 lbs, i have lost 52 lbs!!! i have 35 lbs left before i hit my goal weight!!! plus the week isn't even over yet so who knows where we will be by saturday. i can't begin to express how excited i am!!!

the other big accomplishment of this number, 52 lbs, is that i am no longer classified as "obese" on the bmi scale. granted, it still says i am overweight, but when i started out so close to the obese (very severe) section i think overweight is a great place to be! by the time this is all said and done i will either be in the low range of overweight or the high end of normal. no matter where it ends though, i feel healthy and i know i have added years on to my life again. that is after all what i wanted, years. i wanted to make sure that i would be here for many years to spend time with my family and watch my sweet baby hep grow up. well hep... you're stuck with me for a while kiddo!!! :o)

mom said i needed a photo to mark 50. sadly my camera has seemed to start a game of hide and seek and it is a GREAT hider... or i suck as a seeker. so here is one from tonight via the digital camera. i realized after i took it that white may not be a good color for someone as pasty as me, i seem to blend with the shirt, but none-the-less here you go.

i also decided tuck needed to get in on the photo action as well!

here he is making his blog debut! do you see the remains of his latest toy??? that would be one of my dress socks.

happy eating!!

attention

ahem....


i have reached the 50 lb mark.


the end.

art on a plate

lots of updates here, well maybe not lots but a few.

accident: i took my car to be looked at by the local ford dealership to have them tell me if it was in fact drivable. i was mostly concerned about the air bag deploying in my face when i was driving but i also wanted them to check the guts of the car for damage. after a bit of pushing, the man finally looked at my car and determined it wasn't drivable. there is damage to the radiator and it is leaking coolant. for who knows how long now i am cruising around in a ford focus. besides feeling like i am driving a go-cart (big change from an escape to a focus) there is no CRUISE CONTROL!!! that drives me crazy but oh well, i will live.

loss: i went in to the center saturday morning and found that i am now 1.5 lbs lower than i was before the holiday gain. what that means was last week i had a 3 lb loss that only counts for 1.5 lbs. weird right? unfortunately my numbers in loss are now averaging less than 3 lbs a week so they are doing a plateau breaker. for monday and tuesday i have to eat 2 eggs and a 1/2 an orange for breakfast, drink supplement for mid morning, 6 oz of chicken and 2 cups of lettuce for lunch, drink supplement for mid afternoon, and then 4 oz of beef, 2 cups of lettuce, and the other half of the orange for dinner. on wednesday i return back to the regular plan. this sounds much nicer than the 7 day break since it is only 2 days. :o)

title: well the updates are done now, but i still haven't explained the title. today while making my lunch i realized that i made art on a plate. it was pretty and yummy!!! so pretty in fact that i took pictures.

this is my french toast with strawberries (equals 2 starch servings and 1 fruit serving, and the egg for the toast is about 1-1.5 servings of protein)

this is my...ermm... egg thing. (1 small tomato, 1/2 c. spinach, 1/2 c. mushrooms, and 1-1.5 eggs for protein). lots to eat but so tasty!

well lets hope tomorrows visit to the center shows good numbers and the breaker does its job!

happy eating!!!

accident

i knew i had to blog about this when it happened but i didn't realize until later that there is a part of this story that DOES relate to the diet. since i try to keep this diet oriented i don't feel as bad about sharing this story.

to preface this story we have to go back about 10 years ago. when i was a new driver about 15-16ish i got in a car accident. completely my fault mind you. i rear ended a suburban and totaled my car. since then i have been a VERY cautious driver. i don't speed (that is probably more for the one... ok two times i was pulled over for speeding) and i am very aware of the drivers around me. because of this i always figured if i was going to get in another accident it WOULDN'T be my fault.

i was right!

around 5 pm this evening i was stopped at a stop sign waiting to cross traffic to go weigh in. i was actually pretty pumped about weighing in because i knew i would show a good number in loss. all of a sudden a station wagon looking car turns across traffic in front of an on coming probe. as you can guess there was an accident. the probe hit the front side of the station wagon and then the station wagon ran head on into me.

to ease your fears, i am fine. i do have a slight bruise across my chest from the seat belt and my chest and back are both getting a little more sore as the night goes on, but that is to be expected. the car, as far as we can tell thus far, only sustained minimal damage. while one passenger from the probe was taken to the hospital it did not appear to be major injuries and the other two drivers were fine. damage to my car consists of a crack in the front bumper, the grill, and the air bag light has come on although it did not deploy. tomorrow i will get more information about any internal damage (including the air bag) when i take it in to the body shop. while i am irritated about the car i am very thankful that i am ok, the other people involved are ok, and my car is still drivable (we think at least), this story has some funny parts that i simply must share.

they always say you should have clean underwear on when you get in an accident... they forget to mention you should be dressed in a presentable fashion as well. since i was going to weigh in i switched out of my jeans and into scrub pants, jeans add more weight so i always weigh in in scrubs or dress pants. unfortunately i decided since i was only going to weigh in and they don't care what i wear at the center and i wasn't going anywhere else, i didn't change tops. there i stood after the accident, on the intersection of a major street at 5pm (yay for rush hour) wearing a lovely satin top with a black sweater over it (view the nye pictures since it was the same top), navy blue scrub pants, and bright blue crocs! i was looking HOT!!! i can tell you this, the accident happened less than 1/2 a block from my house and i seriously thought about leaving the scene of an accident, with my car as a guarantee that i would be back, to go change back into my jeans. alas i am a good citizen and didn't... i just let everyone enjoy the lovely ensemble while praying they were looking more at the other cars that were damaged more than mine instead of my outfit.

amazingly enough, in the midst of all this mayhem and foolishness that could ruin a person's day, one of the police officers (there were 6 on the scene) made my day. while taking my information for the report he is asking me my dob, employer, if i was wearing my glasses, if i was on my cell phone, my height, and so on. all the while he has my dl in his hand. when he gets to my weight he points the number on my dl and says "now this can't be right". **more history lesson** my dl has said i weigh 200 lbs since i was 16. that weight was not right when i listed it nor has it EVER been right! in fact when i listed it the first time i was probably about 245 and moving up to about 280 +, i have just never felt the need to change it and they (the folks at the dmb) have never challenged it. **back to present time** i tell him no, it is actually about 218. he looks at me with this shocked/dumbfounded look on his face and said "wow, I was going to guess it was a hell of a lot lower than this!" i tell you what, i could have smooched that man!!! tacky outfit and all he thought that i weighed less than 200 lbs! talk about a great compliment out of no where! :o)

i was told i could go shortly after that so there is only one last piece of my accident tale, it is not diet related though. while on their way home from work my best friend tricia and her husband ross were driving down said main road. of course they noticed the accident but tricia quickly noticed me and then my car. she sent me a text instantly asking if i was ok, after i replied she asked about my car, i told her i would call after i was done with the police. sadly i never made it to the center because i went to their house to have a beverage and laugh about the whole thing (and bitch a little too of course). i realized how blessed i am with them though when they both were genuinely concerned (ross even came out to evaluate the damage to my car) but also offered to pick me up or provide transportation to where ever i may need to go in case my car was not drivable. now that is true friends.

while i am never going to be thrilled about an accident i think this may be the best accident i could imagine being in (keep in mind i say this before i know the cost of anything and the insurance situations with the other drivers). i am ok, the car is ok so far, i got a compliment from the police officer, i provided a show for several people in op, i was shown again how fantastic my friends are, and finally *and maybe my favorite part* THE ACCIDENT WAS NOT MY FAULT THIS TIME!!!!!

happy eating... and safe driving! :o)

a sweet reminder

i went to the center today, the first time since the monday before new years eve, and have some sad news to report. i had stated that i hadn't gained over the past week, unfortunately numbers today said otherwise. i gained a little over a lb. <--- doesn't fit the title right??? here is the rest...

while the gain was sad, a few things made it bearable. first was the counselor i sat with today. for some reason every time i have been with her i have been less than thrilled. not that she was bad but she just didn't click with me like some of the others have. today she showed me a different side. she was very supportive and helpful with the gain. she reminded me of how far i have come and how close i am to my goal.

the second and most inspirational was how she helped me see the loss up to this point and to motivate me for the rest of the goal. at this point in time i have lost over 9 bags of sugar. seriously... when you think of how big those bags are, at 5 lbs a piece... i have dropped over 9 of those bad boys! with the same dedication and discipline that i demonstrated in the beginning of this journey i will quickly be able to claim a cool 10 bags down! part of me wanted to go out and purchase the 9 bags to keep around as a reminder of how far i have come. of course then reality kicks in and i have to wonder what on earth i would do with 45 lbs of sugar! perhaps the grocery store wouldn't mind if i just took a photo of 9 bags of sugar. :o)

anyway, this gain, while a set back really helped me get refocused. i haven't been practicing the same diligence that i started with and i need to get back to that. clothes don't seem to be a good motivation so we will now use the visual representation of the lbs lost as a motivation. hope this first week of healthy living has been a good one for those that have started a plan.

happy eating.

when you fall

i think i have found that one of the hardest things about dieting is the personal guilt and defeat you feel when you fall down. you know what you are supposed to be doing and how you are supposed to be eating, but when you give in to the temptation to eat or drink something you aren't supposed to you feel guilty. the hardest part is picking yourself back-up. there is a song called "accidents happen" by sixx:am, now the song itself is taking about someone who is fighting a drug addiction and falling off the wagon, but food is an addiction as well and it works. the lyrics say "it's okay, we all fall off the wagon sometimes. it's not your whole life! it's only one day, you haven't thrown everything away."

coming out of the nye and christmas week i didn't lose but i didn't gain because i gave in to the temptation. the nice thing is that i know that i am ok because i can get back up and start fighting again. i guess what i am trying to say is, if you fall remember how far you have come and realize that you haven't thrown it all away. just get back on plan and keep truckin. you can do it!!!

now some photos. these are from nye at the phoenix with some dear friends of mine. we had a BLAST!

this is me, mikey, and greg. i miss these fellas so much!

this is my great friend sarah.

this is roger. we actually went to high school but actually became friends recently when he started dating one of my friends. personally i LOVE this picture of us!

someone like me

this will be long so you might want to grab a snack...

over the past couple of weeks more and more people are asking me about my weight loss. what i am doing, how much i have lost, if i like the slim4life plan, and so on. i wanted to share this with you as it is the new year and weight loss is probably one of the biggest new years resolutions.

in august when i started the plan i had reached a weight that i was uncomfortable with. i was almost back to the largest i had ever been (my junior and most of year of high school was my heaviest time). i had started to look at things like gastric bypass and the lap band. i had had friends of mine go through the bypass and it has done great things for them but i also was very scared to go through it. then i saw carrie and she told me how much slim4life had done for her. she had started the plan on feb 2 and by august 10th she was down 138 lbs. this inspired me.

i have watched the shows like "the biggest loser" and while those are real people i had trouble relating to them. how many people can take 3 months off of their life to go to the ranch and do nothing but work-out and eat healthy. personally i know i can't! to add to that i also don't think i could spend that much time away from my family. i also watched the reunion clips that showed people gaining after the ranch because they were back in real life. the difference between what they did and what i saw with carrie was the "like me" aspect. i know carries life style (i have known carrie for about 8 years now) and i felt that if she could do it, i could too. she is someone real like me.

so i made the call and i started the plan. i can't say that i was scared it wouldn't work because i had seen what it could do. i also found a comfort in the fact that they not only helped me lose the weight but they also promised to teach me how to live in the real world and not gain the weight back. i can not even try to say it has been easy all the time, some days are easier and some days are much much harder. no matter what though, i see and feel the changes my body is going through. i would hands down recommend this plan to someone who wants to make a lifestyle change and become healthier.

that said, it is the new year and i know many people have made the comments that they want to start some sort of plan to get healthier. i know it isn't an easy choice to make. i encourage you to find something that work for your life style. a plan you can afford, that works with your life, and that makes you feel inspired. i would suggest finding one where you have a support system (i.e. the center that slim4life has, the counselors at jenny craig, or even friends you can go through it with) it makes a world of difference. i also want to offer myself as your support. i know it is hard and i will go through the changes with you. i will celebrate the accomplishments and be with you while you work through the tough parts. trust me, if i can do it... so can you!

happy new year! here is a toast to a new year and a new me!