big socks and creative cuisines

it is amazing to me where i notice weight loss some days. most recently it has been in my socks. that's right folks, my socks are too big. i started noticing it when they would move around a bit more, now every time i take a shoe off or just move them against something they slide down. i guess that is the next article of clothing i need to start purchasing. good thing for me that tucker enjoys ripping up socks (new or used). he will soon have more socks than he knows what to do with!

the second topic is about my newest dishes. both of them were inspired by a recipe book that my parents gave me last week. i found the ideas in the book and made them with what i had available. they turned out pretty well so i will share them!

the first is egg drop soup-ish. since i have been craving chinese food and that is really not even close to plan this was a nice replacement. i used 1 packet of the cream of chix soup mix and about 8 oz of water. i heated them up then whisked in 1 egg. i let that cook for a few minutes then added my mls and enjoyed. mmm yummy!!! and actually rather filling! i also added a sliced up celery stalk to give it a bit more body but that is completely optional.

the second was a version of chili. i took 5 oz of ground turkey breast and cooked it up with about 1/4 c chopped onion. in a separate pot i simmered 1 1/2 diced tomatos, 1/4 c. water, chili powder, cayenne pepper, garlic powder, and mls to taste. once that was nice and soupy i mixed in 1/2 c. of mushrooms. after the mushrooms were cooked a little i added the turkey/onion mix and let simmer for about 5-10 minutes. this is a pretty quick meal so that is always a bonus. i was a little concerned because in what appeared to be a small bowl of chili i had used a protein and 2 veggie servings. when you are limited to the amount of food you can get making sure you are full is important. despite its appearance of being a small portion this was a hearty and filling meal. slim 4 life offers a cream of tomato soup mix and while i LOATH cream of tomato soup, i think it might add something different to the chili if i used it. i will probably play with this one a bit just to see what else i can do but i really liked it this time around.

number news...went to the center today and weighed in. i am down 47.5 lbs. not the best numbers but i was actually really happy with them seeing as how i just made it through a christmas without gaining. that is a pretty big deal!!! i also found out that in about 9.5 lbs i will be switched down to plan 1. that means that i will have only 30 lbs left to lose before i hit my goal weight. it is funny how that seems like such a small number to me now with 47.5 already gone. my goal is to be at 50 lbs by new years. i might not hit it since that is 2.5 lbs in 2 days but the fact that i am so close seems like a good omen for the new year.

happy eating everyone!

recap

i am realizing i am slacking at my posts, i will try my best to do better. with the holidays days just seem to slip away before i know it.
this past week was a rough one for me. last week (the week before christmas) I was on a break week. the one where i basically get lettuce and grapefruit all week. the center had filled me with the promises of losing "big numbers" like 4 lbs on monday or tuesday. well I went in on monday and i didn't lose anything. when I went in on Wednesday I had only lost 1 lb. now i know that is still an accomplishment but it is a big disappointment when you are looking for big numbers. that really got me down for the rest of the week.

i did ok on christmas and while i sampled a bit of off plan food, i didn't indulge and i have not gained anything. luckily this week also held some brighter moments at the end that lifted my spirits.

the first happened on friday. i decided i needed to go get something to wear for friday nights trip to the phoenix. i went to my new favorite place to shop, gordmans! *side note* i highly encourage anyone and everyone to shop here. not only do they have good prices, but when you are losing weight and need to get in between outfits they won't break your bank. anyway, i go shopping and take some jeans into the dressing room. i had to go back out and get a smaller size!!! long story short... i got to purchase 3 pairs of jeans that are size 14!!! what made that more exciting for me was that it was by 2 different labels. if you recall i started this thing pushing a size 22!!!

the second thing was a moment of realization from my friend carrie and her husband. they are actually the reason i started doing slim 4 life, after seeing the success they were having i knew i could too. carrie started in feb. and i think her hubby started a couple months later. she has lost 168 lbs and he has lost 78. they are such an inspiration to me. but their loss isn't really what motivated me. i spoke with carrie yesterday and we just talked about the diet and how we are both so happy with the diet but also about the struggles we both were having this month. it was refreshing to hear her talk about her hard times because it validated mine. i think that is why they say diets work better if you go through them with someone. it isn't just the motivation aspect, it is the support of someone who knows what you are going through. they have been there and gone through it. it was definitely what i needed to make the week that much better. :o)

hope everyone had a fantastic christmas! happy eating!

milestones flying by

i apologize for my lack of posting, i have been waiting to post this post for a few days. I was hoping on Monday I would have been able to but 1 delayed it. either way, here it is now!

after weeks of fighting myself and the holidays (by holidays i really mean cookies, drinks, and sweets which are harder to avoid than you might think) on Thursday of last week I hit 40 lbs, officially! On Monday I was down 42.5 lbs. Today when I went in I am down 45.2 lbs!!! The reason this is the milestone I wanted to post and not as much the 40 lbs (which I am not disregarding as a good milestone) is because 43.5 was the 1/2 way mark.

When I started this plan in August the goal we set for me to lose is 87 lbs. Now I am on the down slope of this giant hill. granted i have only taken a few steps down it, but we are on our way none the less. It is funny that i feel a small fear in what if i have come this far and it stops working. But so far there is no reason to see why it would just magically stop working now unless i did something to make it stop.

I am also really excited to see my numbers next week since I am on a 7 day break right now. Did i mention I hate chicken by the way? They say about the middle of the next week you see a pretty decent drop. Well at this rate I will be at 50 before we know it. Since I set a personal goal to be at 50 lbs by NYE, I have a renewed hope that I can since it is less than 5 lbs away. If it wasn't so flippin cold outside i would be running around doing back-flips. However, I don't care for snow or frost bite so instead i will curl up on the couch with tuck and watch marry poppins and wear a BIG CHEESY grin at my accomplishment.

pat on the back to me and everyone else for their help.

do you want to take my picture?

since people always enjoy the posts with pictures i thought i would post a new one of me. it isn't a weight goal or anything, it is just an okay picture of me. i realized though as i took it how much the loss has impacted me. i never really knew how big i was before i started this diet. you see i have a magic mirror at home. i look in it and see only what i want to see. it isn't until i see a picture that i actually see what i really look like. therefore, there are VERY FEW pictures of me from the past couple of years. now i am not afraid of the camera, in fact i am happy to take photos of myself. in fact, most times i don't even worry about the angle to make sure it looks just right, the exceptions come when i see that i have a leg for an arm in the thanksgiving photos! :o) it is all about angles!

i also wanted to post a photo that jen forgot to post. i bought this for hep a while ago and thought it was important that you all see her sporting her favorite teams outfit. sadly, the outfit is great in length but according to jen is "built for a football player baby prototype". either way she is still super cute!!!

final note is about my job. after tonights dinner i realized that i made a good choice in NOT going into culinary work as a profession. it wasn't bad per say, just not something i would make again. it was called chicken a'la orange. i think it was more that the zest is included in the meal and there is a bit more ginger than i prefer. oh well guess it is a good thing i like my job right?

num yummy

have you seen the commercial where the kid is going around getting names for the new name plates? he stops and asks a man, who is eating his campbells soup, what his name is and the guy says "num yummy". of course he is commenting on how good his soup is and not what his name is, but none the less the next day when he comes in his office name plate says "num yummy".

anyway, today i had my own num yummy lunch that i had to share with you. yesterday mom and i went to lunch and she had a chicken salad sandwich. i have been thinking about chicken salad since. then, while making lunch and dreading the chicken i was cooking, it came to me. i woud make my own slim4life chicken salad. YAY! so here is what i did, and not to toot my own horn... but-a *BEEP BEEP* it was GREAT!

6oz of chicken that has been marinated in italian caesar dressing then cooked in a skillet on stove top. put the chicken in a food processor with one celery stalk sliced up. pulse that until it is your desired consistency. add 1 tbs of vinegar (this isn't necessary but since i am trying to flush out bad choices from last week i wanted to make sure i got it in there), 2 tbs of fat free ranch dressing, and mls and pepper. you could use your fat serving of mayo with this too but since you only get 1 tsp of mayo and you can have up to 2 tbs of fat free dressing, i went with the dressing. i also threw in a bit of regular mustard for kicks (mustard is the only condiment that they really don't restrict) and to enhance the consistency. mix all this up and enjoy. i paired this with once slice of bread and even threw some cucumbers in at the end. you could make this a sandwich but i am saving a second starch for tonight's dinner and i enjoy chicken salad all by itself.

enjoy! let me know what you think if you try it!

self proclaimed hermit

i went to the center today and while i had gone down 2.2 lbs, i talked with donna for a bit about the loss thus far. at 13 weeks i am down 38lbs. i am running just shy of 3 lbs a week so that isn't great or terrible. to me though, it isn't what i am looking for. i did so well the first couple of weeks.

after leaving i made the executive decision, i need to fix it. at that rate i will not hit my goal weight by the time i thought i would (mid march). so i am taking myself back to where i was in when this whole thing started. i am ok with not going out (sorry friends but i need to do this for me). i am ok with making my lunch every day again. i need to rely on myself and remind myself that to get to where i want to be i only have to work a little bit harder and this hard part will be over in about 15 weeks. granted the next parts won't be easy but i have shown that i can stay in a 5 lb radius! now when i say i am not going out, i need to clarify. i have made some arrangements for the month of december (holiday parties and nye), i will not back out of those. instead i will just limit myself to 3 beers if any at all. i have done it before and my friends are fully supportive!

back on track. enter bad 80's song "ain't nuthin gunna break-a my stride, ain't nuthin gunna slow me down!" hahaha that will be stuck in your head for hours now! enjoy!

life as a fish

some days one this diet i feel like all i do is drink water!!!

after going to the center today to weigh in, they put me on a water flush. it wasn't unexpected since this weekend i had some off plan moments(beer anyone?). i didn't go up or down, actually my weight was the exact same as it was when i went in on wednesday last week. soooo, let's hope that the water flush is effective.

i have noticed that as i have seen results my motivation has dropped a bit. one of the things they talked about when i first started was about half way through the program a lot of people lose the drive because they have seen such fantastic results. i remember thinking how that wouldn't be me. i would use that as motivation to just keep going. i am not saying i want to quit but i have noticed that my dedication to staying on plan is less. on thursday when i go back in we will probably pull out the list of reasons i started this (they had me make it the day i started) and hopefully that helps me get my dedication back. honestly i don't remember half of the reasons i put on there! :o)

wonderful weekend of memories

so many things happened this weekend that i wanted to blog about so this will be a multi part blog.

did you do something to your hair? as i have been going through this diet i can't count the number of times i have heard people say "did you do something different to your hair?" now i must admit about a month in i did cut and color my hair, but beyond that i haven't done anything crazy. amazingly there have been a lot of comments regarding my hair. i am not sure if it is people being polite and avoiding saying "are you losing weight" or if it is really that they don't remember my hair. i finally decided, yes i did do something different with my hair. i did it around a face that is 2 chins less! :o)

skinny mini - apparently the new nickname for me with my friends is skinny mini. i have to say, i LOVE it! there is some great positive reinforcement when people notice your weight loss and talk about you shrinking. it makes me hold my head a little higher than it already was. it is validation that the work i put in is paying off! this weekend many friends who hadn't seen me in a while and some who see me fairly regularly appreciated the work i have been doing. i think part of the whole thing this weekend was that i was wearing some clothes that i felt confident in and that actually showed the loss a little better than some of the other clothes i have.

recognition from a new place - there are a lot of people that work where i work. at our facility there are over 1500 people that run around that building. we have our own lunch area and i can only imagine that hundreds of people go through the lines with their food every day. i don't think that i go there all that often, a couple times a week for breakfast or lunch. i will admit my breakfast is always the same 1/2 a grapefruit and a cup of coffee so perhaps that is memorable but i wouldn't think someone would pay more attention than that. imagine my surprise today as i walked through the line and the lady working the register noted how good i looked and how my grapefruit must be working wonders. there was also a couple "you go girls" thrown in the conversation too. i don't know if i was more touched at the woman noticing my loss or if it was that she has taken the time to pay attention to me as a person vs. just someone coming through the line with food. i stopped and chatted with her for a moment and realized perhaps i need to do more of that. pay attention to people. i mean i have always tried to make sure i listen for an answer when i ask people how they are, but perhaps there is more i can do. either way, she made my day today!

any way here are a couple pictures from this weekend for your enjoyment! :o)

joanna, tricia, and me.

michelle, dustin, and me. yes he always makes goofy faces in photos, but that is why we love him!

my bff tom aka bucket!

giving thanks

as thanksgiving day is coming to an end i thought it only right that i post what i am thankful for. like many people there are so many things that i am thankful for. my health (even more so now, right?), a roof over my head, a good job, and the most amazing family anyone can ask for.
tonight we had thanksgiving dinner at my house. after the family left i spent some time thinking about how lucky i am to have them and all the things that they have done for me. since i try to keep this diet oriented here are my thanks to them in regards to the diet, but know this is only a small part of what i am thankful for with them.
my dad is so enthusiastic with every milestone that i reach. i can't wait to tell him because i know that he will be just as excited or even more so (i mean who else gets batman to comment on their blogs AND via text?!?!?!). he also provides those words of guidance when i start to struggle. my mom watches my day to day actions with and provides that much needed ear to listen when i have frustrations. she tries not to let me stray from the diet too much but also recognizes that a little "cheating" may be necessary (just maybe not dq). my sister provides that motivation, even from so far away. with our talks of the future, my better health for a longer life, and just the excitement about feeling better about myself... she reminds me of them. when i start to get discouraged she picks me back up and reminds me of why i am doing all of this. she also seems to make the hard times not so hard with her twisted yet positive attitude (cold food today would be a good example, right jen?). finally, while many of my aunts are very supportive and i am thankful for that, ila has been such a hoot through this process. my phone calls to her and her comments on the blog make things so much lighter. her excitement about things like new clothes and recipes (even if the green beans weren't great) makes those joys that much better. she also helps to remind me that it isn't just about losing weight, i am learning to live/eat better as a whole. the benefits thus far are amazing!
there are so many more things i could say about them and others, but i don't want to make this a novel (wait for the book for the rest). i hope that everyone in my life knows how much i appreciate them through this process, without you i think this may have been another failed attempt at a diet. the funny thing is i thought i started out doing this for me, and for the most part i did. however, looking back i see that it is for them too. this diet means that i will be healthier, happier, and around longer to enjoy many more thanksgivings with them! granted that last thing may or may not be a good thing with my dry turkey! :o) next year will be better i promise!
i hope all of you were able to share the holiday with the ones you love and when you go to bed tonight your heart and bellies are both full. i know mine is! *and i even stayed on plan (minus the wine and a bite of creamed corn).

keep rollin rollin rollin

i was going to wait to post these for a couple days since i am so close to the next milestone. unfortunately i have been slacking on my updating and since it has been requested to post more pictures of my large noggin (and now i am thinking it is really i have a large noggin and a large shnauz) i will do it now.

as of my weigh in on friday i was down about 37lbs since i started. i am thinking i will hit 40 by the middle of the week. not much will probably change between now and then so i am not too concerned about it.

a couple weeks before starting the plan (yes this one is new):

*i look HORRID in that photo by the way!

2 days before starting the plan:

20 lbs down:

30 lbs down:

AND NOW... 37lbs down:

bmi

tonight i decided to do something i haven't done since i started my journey with slim4life. i decided to calculate my bmi. prior to starting this thing my bmi score read obese (severe) and was teetering towards the side of obese (very severe). i had a bmi score of 38.3, 40 and up is what is considered the very severe side. tonight, using the weight i had on saturday morning at the center, my score was 33.7. i not only moved away from the very severe side, i am actually down to moderate. it will be another 27 lbs before i am out of the moderate and placed in the "overweight" category.
something about this just made me feel so good and also more determined. it is nice to see that bmi number go down because it means that i am getting healthier! it means that i am lightening that load on my heart! yes i knew this before looking at this number, but being a stats person i see this number as factual! it tells me where i stand! well sort of, this is a general number and it doesn't really take into consideration the damage that may have been done from being obese for so long. either way, i was happy.
the motivation came in the thought of how quickly i could get to that point. in about 11 weeks i have lost 32 lbs. i am running just shy of 3 lbs a week, but seeing how i have had a few weeks of being really bad on plan, i think i am doing ok. but now it is time to get serious again. by my calculations if i abide by plan and lose the 3-5 lbs a week i could be down to that next bmi set by new years at the earliest! this does mean that i will have to be very strict on myself and practice self discipline. i have faith! :o)

orange on a toothpick

i went to take a new photo of myself tonight. mostly because i wanted to sport the look of straight hair. i have become a big fan of straightening it because it is easier for me to deal with and i think it looks better with this cut. the sad thing is, in looking at all of the pictures... i have a HUGE NOGGIN!!!

this may be somewhat tragic!

the traveling pants

i have a pair of pants that i bought YEARS ago. i honestly don't remember when i bought these pants, i think some time in college. perhaps freshman or sophomore year. since it has been so long i don't really remember if they actually fit when i bought them, but for the past several years they really haven't fit. with the weight fluctuation i have been through they have been everywhere from not being able to even zip them up to zipping them but with a very unattractive roll spilling over the top.
i actually have thought about throwing these pants away. with every move to a new house i look at them and think about how much heartache this one pair of pants has caused me. yet with every move something has compelled me to keep them. i guess i have always viewed them as my "motivational pants".
today as i stood staring into my closet(s), thinking how nothing looked like something i wanted to wear i just stuffed my hand in and started moving things about. there, in the midst of several shirts and skirts were these pants. i have not tried to put these pants on since i moved into my house this past summer. i thought to myself, what the hell! so i pulled them out and put them on. not only did they fit... they fit well! even the thigh area was a bit baggy but that seems to be a bit of a trend.
that was my exciting news for the day.
toodles!

inspirational tv

it is amazing sometimes where inspiration comes from. yesterday a show premiered on style network (my favorite channel) that of course i dvrd so i could watch it tonight instead. the show is called ruby and while i am not quite sure that i would say you need to run out and watch it, i am saying i will probably be tuning in.
ruby is a woman living in savannah, ga and she weighs 473 lbs. the show is documenting her weight loss and the different struggles and accomplishments that she is going through on her journey to lose the weight. i couldn't help but find her endearing and so many of the things she talked about i related to. granted i am not as big as she is and there are things that she experiences that i have never had (she can't take a bubble bath, she can't sit in chairs with arms, and she has to support her bed with bricks so it won't break when she gets in).
one of the things she talked about was the fact that she has dreams, but her dreams are different than that of someone who is "skinny". she spoke about wanting to sit on a guys lap, to hear she is beautiful, and how she get shivers when she thinks about how she will feel when those things happen. i think this offered some sense of validation to me. there are things that i have wanted to experience that are simple things to people that aren't obese. i would love to have a guy give me a piggy back ride and i would love to not feel embarrassed by my weight when someone picks me up.
another thing that they show that will happen through the series is her relationships being tried. i think that is an important part of weight loss that is often over looked. relationships with the people in your life can be changed dramatically by weight loss. people get jealous over your loss, friends who may not be jealous over your loss now view you as a threat (for dating, popularity, etc), and then there are people who will unintentionally place kinks in your goals. plus, weight loss is a very emotional thing. with a flood of hormones running through your body and a constant change in the way you look and feel affect your mood. let's face it, if you get to the point that you are obese you also have some pretty strong addictions to certain foods (mine is cheese and sweet candy like jelly beans) that are hard to break. they are just like an addiction to drugs or alcohol. i can't wait to see how the series handles these.
the many different areas of this show cover ruby going to see a family dr, an obesity specialist, a personal trainer, a diet place (similar to a jenny craig it seems), and the most interesting one... a therapist! i think this could be a good thing for people trying to lose weight and for people in the life of someone trying to lose weight.
that's all for today. new episodes of ruby air on sundays on the style network or you can visit their website.
happy eating.

water-colored memories

i was lying on the living room floor today playing with the dogs and i had a flashback. this memory is actually two-fold.

this first memory was from 8th grade. during gym class we were lying on the floor doing our stretches while the teacher was taking role. mind you i was always teased about my weight, i was one of the biggest girls in my grade, hell my school for that matter. let's face it middle schooler's are cruel people!!! well i remember lying there and making the comment "look i'm skinny too". *i will try to describe this as best i can* when you are flat on the ground your excess fat moves into your body and you appear flatter than you actually look when you are standing up. i was pointing out to the girls around me that i wasn't that big (i was on a diet at this time mind you). their response was "yeah, we can suck in too". i don't remember making a comment about my weight.

the second part of the memory comes from my senior year of high school. my sister and i were in her room in the basement of our old house (one of them). it is the summer after i graduated and i
am about to go off to college. i am at the lowest weight i can remember being after i was done growing up. after months of work, i was starting to feel good about my body. again i was lying on the floor and i remember feeling my hip bones. i remember the feeling i got from being able to feel my bones without having to push aside my fluffy stuff. unlike the last time, this was real. this wasn't just because i was sucking in. i had worked hard and lost weight and gotten to that point and it was real!!!

back to tonight. while playing with the pups, i realized that once again i could feel those hip bones. please don't think that it is a need of mine to be bone thin, it isn't. however to me there is something nice about realizing that i have hip bones. i have the bones that my jeans can rest on instead of rolls of fluff. i don't know that someone who has never experienced this feeling accomplishment can fully understand what this means to me. just understand that i am very very happy with this.

i did go weigh in today. as of the last time i went to weigh in (thursday) i was up 1.6 lbs. while this is a little bit depressing if you look at the numbers, i reminded myself that i was up a lot more than that by the end of this weekend. we mapped out a plan and with some minor adjustments i should be fully back on track by the end of the week. i can't tell you how much i love the people at the center. between nikka and angie specifically, i am so thankful that i found this place and that out of the 7 centers i could have gone to, i went to this one!!!

so cheers to them!!!

finding my way

today on plan wasn't terrible. ok so maybe it was a little bad, but not as bad as the days before. i think getting my mind back on track for this is going to take a couple days. honestly i am a little hesitant to go to the clinic tomorrow. oh well, i am honest with them and so they will have to work with me as i get back on track.

i decided to post a couple pictures from halloween. i was so excited about my costume (even though my boobs were pretty much out there) because i felt like i looked good.

this is my friend jen and i on halloween. she was dressed as one of the many earls. i was supposed to but i decided i didn't want to wear the overalls. what can i say i wanted to flaunt the weight loss! :o)

this is my newest art project. i started decoupage (think of it as therapy). this is my first attempt. i cut out pictures from a book called icons of photography (the 20th century). i then picked my favorites and put them on canvas. i am pretty happy with how it turned out.

run away car...err diet

well the past few days have been less than stellar in the diet department. staying on plan has really been the last of my concerns. truthfully, in my head i think i deliberately tried to break plan because in a week of things that were out of my control, it was the one thing i could control. it was my one vehicle that i was driving and i decided to drive it off of a cliff. today i called the tow truck to pull it out of the ravine and get it back on track.

starting on thursday i went off plan in several ways. thursday i had beer and ice cream, no not together, i still maintained my taste buds. that alone wouldn't have been that bad, i can actually recover from that fairly quickly. then friday i had beer, no breakfast, both lunch and dinner were off plan, and i forgot to take my meds for the diet in the am. then came saturday, i started to get on plan but if i sleep in (which i did) it messes up my schedule so i try to squish it all in and end up feeling miserable. beyond that part i was good up until dinner. in honor of my staying at my parents house to dog sit, i HAD to get thai food. i ate every bite last night with a smirk on my face as if to say "screw you diet". perhaps not the best plan right? the final blow to my diet was that i also did not get my 80 oz of h2o in on thursday and friday. i could really see it by the end of friday and saturday morning when my hands were swollen.

today i got back on plan. meds as required, plan worthy meals, and minus the few extras (blast my parents for having pretzels out) i have stuck to it. i even avoided going out to get chinese because i was trying to be good. while not going in to a lot of detail the past few days have been slightly rough and in true fashion i turned to my comfort. food. they say most anorexic and bulimic people are that way because food is something they can control. they feel like they have no control over anything else but they can control how much they eat (and keep down in some cases). well the same can be said about overweight people, if not more so. i have no control over a lot of the things going on in my life so i manipulate the one thing i know i can control, i just manipulate it in the opposite way. either way, i realized that this isn't what i have planned and so i need to stick to plan.

since i am sure you are interested in knowing, the damage of the 3 day debauchery was significant but fixable. when i stepped on the scale yesterday i had gone up about 6lbs. i made sure to get in my 80 oz of water, i think i may have gone just slightly over in that. today i made sure that i ate lighter meals on plan (egg, cottage cheese, and salad) and stuck to getting my 80 oz in. when i go to bed (which will be shortly) i will have had all of the required items and about 90 oz of water. stepping on the scale earlier the numbers showed an increase of +3 instead of +6 (down 3 lbs from yesterday). for those monitoring how "rapidly" i lose my weight remember that this is all subject to a variety of things (liquid consumed, bathroom recency, clothing, and time of day). i should be back to my former weight in a few days. sadly, my staying at my parents is limiting my ability to go to the gym. oh well i will survive.

happy day light savings time everyone!

sugar makes me go fast

the title really has little to do with the blog. it is a saying that has been stuck in my head from a project i am working on at the good ole' j-o-b.

speaking of work projects though... sometimes having the coolest job isn't the best thing. in pretty much any other situation i would be pumped (and so would just about every other person i know) about having to sample candy for work. i mean seriously who wouldn't love a job where you actually have to eat candy, so long as it isn't every day of course. well unfortunately when you are trying to lose some of the baggage around the belly that job isn't always the best. it seems as though work has been one of my biggest obstacles through out this process. between business trips which have me eating out (and off plan), to division meetings where they provide lunch or at the very least some sort of snack, welcome coffees where again some sort of snack it provided, and now having to sample various candies. in most situations like the coffees or if a snack is provided at the meetings i can just not partake. unfortunately if the division provides lunch, the company takes me out, i am on business, or this most recent i have to sample the candy (long story but trust me this isn't one i can pass off to someone else) following plan gets a littler harder.

to add to the difficulty, there is my own personal items. i am sure the previously mentioned issues wouldn't be as bad since they are usually fairly spaced out. a slip up here and there really shouldn't hurt that much. however, outside of work you have birthday celebrations, drinks with friends, and those nights that you are just so exhausted you don't have the energy to cook. this combination of work and trying have some sort of a life is what is getting me.
i was hoping to see a big number this week. after being told i would see a big drop about the middle of the week after the break, i anticipated seeing it today. sadly... i didn't see the drop. in fact i actually went up 1lb. it isn't so much the lack of dropping that i has affected me, it is the fear that my minor alterations to the break week (i.e. dessert at moms birthday celebration on sunday or eating off plan while in pitt for recruiting) made it not work. i know that getting over my natural stopping point isn't going to be easy (not like any of this is really) and i would hate to think that i jeopardized that. i guess we will find out at the end of the week.

in other news, my trial run of halloween costume #2 is tomorrow. for those that don't remember the first fiasco, i purchased a costume that was labeled as fitting the size i am in. well they lied! let's just say it was not a very pretty sight! this time i ordered a different costume in a bigger size but still smaller than what i used to wear. we will see if it fits. if not i have decided that is my body's way of saying "don't go out". if that is the case, my back up plan is to get comfy and go pass out candy and watch movies with one of my friends. either way it will be a good night! :o)

perhaps it is time to hit the gym. i haven't been there as much as i had been going. it is showing in my increasing tiredness. glad i have long gym/yoga pants though. it is COLD... but then again we don't have snow yet! HAHAHAHAHAHA. *sorry jen*

celebrate good times

in light of my newest milestone i wanted to re-post the progress photos. as most of you remember i only have the one from right before starting the plan.

this is the one taken at 20lbs down... one of few because i loathed cameras.

now that i am 30 lbs down (yes that is right folks i hit 30 lbs today) i wanted to post a couple more photos. there isn't a whole lot of difference in them, at least not to me, but i wanted to show them off. i am not afraid of the camera and will gladly grab it for some photo ops. :o)

the 30lbs is a bit wobbly right now because of the antibiotics i am on and the iv from my ct scan yesterday. both cause a weight gain so i can't show a completely true number until monday. however, that means i may be more than 30 lbs. :0) the 30 lbs is exciting in itself but even more so because i am at the lowest i ever remember being in my adult life (since my sophomore year of college actually). i'm not done yet, but man it's good to be here!!!

the break week went alright. i did have an off day with the whole recruitment thing but other than that i was good. i was glad to not have to eat ONLY lettuce as a veggie today!!! i was even more excited to get to eat steak until this evening. my tummy is not liking all this beef. apparently spending 2 months eating lean meat (i haven't had a whole lot of beef in the past 2 months) makes eating red meat a little harder. my tummy hurts a bit but it is getting better as the day goes on. it could also have something to do with the medical stuff. either way... we are rocking and rolling on this thing!

happy eating everyone.

lead me not in to temptation

day two of the 7 day break... ouch! i can't lie, this is hard. i am not allowed to deviate at all from the provided meal plan. yesterday i was confronted with temptation at every corner. doesn't it always seem like when you can't have something is when you want it the most? well first i had to pass the lady with the cart full of cakes and treats for the cafe. then i had to sit in a meeting where candy was the topic and i was looking at our candy cards that are in stores now (shameless plug for work there). then after the meeting i had to research candy the rest of day... talk about sucky. i don't even care for candy that much but ALL of it looked good!!!
oh well, it is paying off. i was down 2.8 lbs since saturday morning per the weigh in tonight. pretty great if you ask me since it wasn't even guaranteed that i would lose this week. maybe it is the fact that for the first week since my actual first week on plan i haven't cheated with my sugar free jelly beans or sugar in my coffee. maybe if i stuck to not cheating i would lose more! hahaha i would miss my treats though. ah choices!
that is about it for my update today. hopefully i will continue to have good news this week!
happy eating.

the power of words

this weekend was a FANTASTIC time! it was wonderful to be around old friends and remember why we are all glad we don't go to college anymore. :o) after the whole ordeal with the formal dress i ended up wearing a pair of dark denim jeans and a cute black sweater. it was the theme attire for the older girls so it worked out well.
while hanging out with friends one of my friends made a comment. now i need to preface this story with some history. this friend is actually my sorority sisters husband and all through college (they weren't dating at that time) we did not get along. he was older and i was young and annoying to him. plus we had very different personalities in general. it wasn't until he and my sorority sister got married that we started to be civil to one another. now that they live just down the street i will actually venture out to say he is a friend. by default, because tricia either tells him or he is around when we are talking about it, he knows a lot about stuff going on in my life. when i told them about starting the diet, while she was somewhat supportive, he was very supportive of me. the two of them have been major support systems for me through this. ok back to present time. he was talking to some of the guys at the table about someone else gaining weight and he said "speaking of weight, LINDA YOU LOOK FANTASTIC!" then we sat and chatted about the diet and how i am doing. i can't fully explain why him noticing was a big deal, but it has a big impact on me. i respect his opinion and i think it is in large part because he won't tell you something just to say it, he only makes comments that he truly feels. for him to stop mid conversation and to even just say it meant it really was true. talk about a boost back from the formal dress.
what made that story better for me was i had felt that the shirt i was wearing didn't really show the loss that much. it stretches and i thought it looked big so that was even more exciting to me.
i know people (specifically family) tell me all the time how good i am doing, how proud they are of me, etc. and that is so very important and great to hear. unfortunately, when it is your family you always temper comments with a bit of bias behind them. as for my opinion of myself, i can see the changes but i also don't trust what i see. so those rare and random comments from friends are a perfect boost.
ok enough of that, real diet stuff. before leaving on saturday i weighed in and had only gone down less than a lb. i spoke with angie, one of the counselors, and told her how my body was in the weight range that i always get stuck in. i can never seem to get below 245ish (even though i am at 243 right now). since i haven't been showing the strongest numbers the past week or so and i am in a natural stopping point to my body, i have to start a break buster. starting on monday my diet is VERY specific!!! i have 1/2 a grapefruit with eat meal, 2 eggs for breakfast, 7oz protein (that is one extra oz than normal) for lunch and then again for dinner, 2 c. raw lettuce for lunch and again for dinner, and then 1/2 c cooked veggies with dinner. ABSOLUTELY NO CARBS. i have that diet for 5 days, then on saturday and sunday i get to re-live the prep. i am actually excited about this because it is unlimited protein and raw veggies and the more red meat the better. HELLO STEAK and ROAST!!! she did warn me to not expect to see a loss during the week but the following week there will be a big drop (primarily sodium i am guessing).
i have been telling everyone that i will cry the day that scale hits below 200 since i can't remember the last time i was there ( i honestly think it was my freshman year of high school... if not earlier). the truth is, i will probably cry a little when i get to 235 since that is a solid 10 lbs. from the lowest i ever remember being (245lbs) as an adult. i'm getting excited just thinking about that! :o)

formal dresses are the DEVIL

for anyone on a diet, if you want a sure fire way to feel like you are not making any progress... go try on a formal dress!!!!
this weekend (tomorrow actually) i am going to kory's fraternity formal for homecoming at pitt. those unaware of fraternity formal... think high school homecoming in college and with alcohol. due to the weight loss most of my dresses don't fit and on top of that they are more formal that i wanted to wear. so last night j and i went out dress shopping. first stop was a store that, for anonymity, we will call davida's bridal. we loaded me up with about 10 dresses and headed to the dressing room. i started out with a bounce in my step because i knew i had dropped down a size or two in pants so surely a dress would be the same, right? WRONG!!! it has been so long since i went dress shopping that i forgot that dresses run about 2 sizes too small. so all 10 of the dresses didn't fit (we only brought in size 16 and 18 dresses). out of the 10 only 2 looked good enough to hunt for a size 20. one of them j kindly told me i looked like a "stuffed sausage/oompaloompa", it was not one of the two we searched for a larger size in. sadly they didn't have the larger size in any of the ones we liked.
the rest of the night we hit 3 other stores and we were greeted with the standard large lady "pretty" dress. these consist of floral prints, pant suits, and dresses that look like wallpaper/curtains. sadly disappointed in not finding a dress we ended the night on a positive note with blueberry martinis. i felt better at least! :o)
today, thank goodness for mama, i have a dress. i borrowed one for my mom that was almost exactly what i was searching for (color, length, etc.) in our little spree. added bonus... didn't have to spend the money on a new dress!!! YAY!!!
in other diet news, i am finding it harder and harder to get my water in. it seems that if i don't stick to the routine i have, i won't stay on track with the plan. my routine is: 7-7:30 breakfast, 9-9:30 mid-morning snack, 11:30-12 lunch, 3:30-4 mid afternoon snack, 6-7:30 dinner, and usually take my last supplement around 8:30. if i deviate from the any normal time after work (mid afternoon snack and dinner) i do not get my water in or i deviate from plan. i am finding i am not hungry for dinner if i have the snack later and if i push dinner later i just get to the point where i don't want to cook anything. not eating is SO BAD for the plan because it screws up your metabolism. vicious circle! i guess this shows that 2 months in i am still figuring out my body and how it needs to work on this thing. the lack of staying on plan is showing. i haven't moved up or down on the scale this week. granted last night eating out and the martini didn't help i am sure. nor will formal tomorrow. oh well, i will live life and just work harder next week to balance out my night of indulgence (if it turns out to be that).
tip of the day: shrimp is one of the most filling meals i think i have. 6 oz of shrimp is actually a LOT of shrimp and it is good for you! tonight i tried my shrimp with a salt free all purpose seasoning and a little butter. YUMMO!!! try it, you will love it! tip 2: always ALWAYS brush your teeth after eating radish as a veggie! your breath will smell rank if you don't and your friends will appreciate it if you do!

it's like magic

when i went to weigh in on monday, after that horrible week of not eating on plan and taking in my proper amount of water, i knew i was going to go up. i did! sadly when i stepped on the scale i had gone up about 4lbs from the last time i weighed in. this sounds like a lot, and i guess in a way it is, but this diet has given me the confidence that i can work this off quickly and get back to where i was heading.
i went in yesterday and was down not only the 4 lbs i had gone up but an additional .6 lbs. this is actually why i put the title referencing magic. you see, it isn't that i actually lost 4.6 lbs in 24 hours, there were some things playing in to my weight on monday. i want to share this with you so you (fellow dieters) understand the reason consistency is so important.
every day that i go weigh in i try to go in between about 4 and 5:30pm. this is because i have had time to get home from work, go potty and #2, and get out of my work clothes. that way every time i go in my system is at on empty and my clothes are somewhat similar in weight every time. this also allows for traffic time with work. however, on monday when i went to weigh in i went in around 2:45pm, hadn't done bathroom business for about 2.5 hours so my body was far from "empty", and i was still wearing clothes from work that weren't exactly the same weight as my normal clothes. this alone will not make you go up 4.6 lbs. the final factor is that on sunday night i had steak for dinner. beef is one of the hardest foods on your body during this diet because it is usually fattier and it contains more sodium. this makes you retain more water (thus showing in you scale numbers), which is why you are limited to how often you can have it.
again, all of this just played a part in explaining such a drastic jump. in all actuality, if you took those factors out, i probably lost about 1 -2 lbs between the 2 weigh ins. most of that was also going to be water weight since i was retaining it.
what i am really hoping you get out of that whole rambling is this: 1) there are other factors that play into your numbers besides just following plan (i.e. what you ate, when you weigh in, what you wear, etc). 2) don't get discouraged when you step on the scale and you see a drastic jump up. you can work it off, just remember how far you have come thus far and how hard you have worked. it is worth it!!!
beyond that, things diet wise are going well. i am anticipating seeing a jump up over the next few days since i am on antibiotics and your body will try to retain water with those. we will see. my favorite part of what i am seeing right now is my sigma ring. on my right ring finger is my sorority ring. i have had this ring since my freshman year of college (i have talked about this before). the ring started out fitting just right, no slipping and minimal turning. as time has gone on it has gotten a bit tighter, when i started this i could barely get it off my finger. today while at the gym i brought my hand up to my head for some reason. the ring flopped. it doesn't fall off (my finger has formed a ridge that holds it down) but i can tell in general movement of my hand the ring is sliding a lot more. i love that, but am sad that some day i won't be able to wear it. guess i will just have to replace it.
tip of the day: my tip of the day is for the ladies and it is about health (sorry fellas). this past month i experienced something that startled me and after going to the doctors and doing some research i finally got the answer that i felt i should share with you. about 2 weeks ago i started experiencing mid-cycle bleeding. this is VERY unusual for me since i am ALWAYS regular on how my cycle operates. after speaking with my obgyn, she told me that with a rapid weight loss, which this obviously is (and that isn't a bad thing since i am doing it a healthy way) can cause spotting or a missed period even. amazingly enough, your fatty tissue can and does produce estrogen. i am in NO WAY telling you to not check it out if you are experiencing this. go to the doctor and get it checked out, but recognize that it could be something as simple as the diet so make sure you tell your doc about your diet (how long you have been doing it, how much you have lost, and bring your list of meds) so they are fully informed.

happy eating everyone!

back from the dead

good afternoon all! my apologies for the length of time between posts. life here has been crazy with work, my personal computer dying, and now i am in the middle of a family reunion weekend. none the less here is an update for you to snack on.

things are the diet front are at a stand still. right now i am bouncing between a 23lb loss to a 20 lb loss. right now leaning more toward that 20 lb. the reason for the pause break in losing is because this past week i have not been doing great on the food side (or the exercise to balance it). tuesday i had friends over and while most of the meal was on plan i had cheesy rice and stuffing. the worst thing though was i had wine! not too bad though, i went to the gym on wednesday and managed to come out right were i was before dinner. thursday night was the first night of the family stuff. this family thing means 45 minutes to get to where the events are which doesn't help on timing or if i forget my pills. plus thursday night they didn't have a whole lot of selection of on plan meals and i had beer. friday, i was good about eating all of my meals on plan, until i realized that my mom had made ribs and carmel corn. i had some of both (i can't turn down my mamas ribs!!!). i also have not been getting my 80 oz of water in. today mom and i had breakfast and for the most part i stayed on plan. i had and omelet with mushrooms, tomatoes, onions, and spinach. it really should have been more like a lunch meal but i figured i would switch lunch and breakfast.

it is now about 2:30 and i just woke up from a much needed nap and after lunch (which is VERY lite) i am going to head to the gym and try to counter balance some of the damage done over the past couple of days. i am ok if i don't lose this weekend but i really don't want to gain, that just breaks my heart. tonights dinner should be ok, we are having baked chicken and there will be veggies there.

i did want to post you with my newest issue. i decided to go shopping yesterday for a little retail therapy. i am now unsure of where i am supposed to shop in stores. all my life i have shopped in juniors plus (if they had it) and womens. now... i am at an in between size, and a whole new world of options. i literally wandered around several stores yesterday trying to figure out where i belonged. sadly... after about an hour and a half i left the mall with one shirt from lane bryant (where i will only be able to shop at a little bit longer since i am in their smallest size now) and a somewhat sad heart that i still didn't know where to go.

hating to end on a sad note though and since i can't think if a tip for today. i am leaving you with photos. i found a photo on my dads computer that was perfect for this. be prepared though it will be the only before picture unless someone else sends me some.

this is a picture taken of my sister and i at our cousin mels wedding. this photo was taken on a saturday night i started the diet that following tuesday.

this is a photo i took of myself at 20 lbs. can you see the difference yet? this is only 20lbs so imagine what the whole thing will look like!!!

happy eating all!

the good, the not so good, and the REALLY EXCITING!

I have always been told to sandwich a negative between two positives, but for this post... i want to move from the "not so good" to the really exciting.
the not so good: i weighed in today. i actually have avoided going to the center all week because i knew that i had gained. my own fault and i was well aware of it. i had some beers with a friend on tuesday night, and had a few on wed as well. i addition to that, i had non-diet bread in a sandwich with cheese for 2 days this week. sooooo i knew i was going gain. luckily between going back to plan and hitting the gym, it was only 1 lb.
the good: in order to ease the pain of the gain donna, the new lady i met at the center today that i think is amazing!!!, took my measurements. they have not measured me since i started the program. grand total i have lost 15 inches. 4 of those have been in the hips!!! what is really exciting is that my hips and my chest are almost exactly the same size, this is how it is supposed to be one women!!! this was nice to hear. i knew i had been going down inches since i had to retire yet another pair of pants (i will explain this momentarily), but i didn't know how much. so yay for that.
now for the REALLY EXCITING: i have never really been a big fan of shopping. i think part of it has been because i hate trying on clothes and nothing fitting or the only clothes they make for bigger women are really not that attractive. i will admit they are getting better with that, but honestly not everyone looks good in large floral print, nor do we only want to wear it. either way, today i knew i had to break down to buy some new pants as another bit the dust. after walking around work on thursday with a pair of dress slacks falling down to the point i was thankful i was wearing cute underpants, i figured i should retire them. i also took a good long look at my pants and realized that they really weren't flattering anymore. soooo mom and i went to old navy and kohls. i ended up walking out of the stores with 3 pairs of pants and 2 shirts. the pants are ALL a size 16!!! this is a HUGE deal for me. when i started this plan i was on the full side of a 20 with some 18s that fit me. NOW i am at a 16. not all 16s fit me, but i got some great looking pants that will last through the next transition phase as well... i am thinking i have a couple months before they look too baggy. i almost started crying between my happy dances in the dressing room. i have not been this size since i left for college. when i left for school i was just starting to fit in a 16, then of course i invented beer and taco bell so i got to where i was 6 weeks ago. i still have a ways to go and i know this, but my heart is still pounding at the thought that i am wearing a size 16!!! it was also a great moment when i was able to look at clothes at kohls that weren't in the "women's" section. i said something to mom about "where is the womens section" and she said "i don't think you need the womens", she was right. yay for that!!!
i almost went out to celebrate tonight. sadly my internal voice said no. i need stay focused for this weekend and the first part of the week since i know that i have some events this upcoming weekend. plus i didn't eat anywhere close to plan while at apple fest today (but the dumplings were so worth it!!!). there is also something going on with me health wise, not sure yet what it is. went to the dr on friday and she ran some blood work and chest x-rays. i should hear back on monday. i am not too concerned about it, but my body wasn't comfortable enough to go out either.
tip for today: my tip tonight is short and simple: the peanut butter crunch bars are GROSS!!! ok they aren't completely terrible but seeing as how i have the dbl chocolate and the cookie dough bars, these things are just not good. i bought them to help curb my cravings for peanut butters (since i was on a big pb kick right before starting this). amazingly enough, i don't have a craving for pb *just CHEESE!!!*. so when you go to buy the bars, i don't suggest that one! luckily i only bought one box so i have to suffer through like 4 more i think.
happy eating! :o)

milestone #1

i am officially (and by officially i mean on record at the center) at -20.45lbs!!! I am averaging about 4.1lbs a week which is good. They promise a 3-5lb loss a week so way to go for being the average!!! I asked them when i should expect my first plateau and they said most women hit it in the first 4-5 weeks, which i am now in week 5 according to them (i think 6 but whatever) and going strong so i am stoked.

part of me wonders what the loss would look like had i been true to plan the whole time. then i start to remember that i might be kinda cranky if i never had a drink with my friends from time to time. we will keep trucking along as usual until something major changes i guess.

i have also decided my "gift" to myself for hitting 30lbs. originally i was going to make a trip to omaha to see my aunt, however when i am anticipating hitting that goal will be in the middle of some crazy busy weeks for me. soooo that "gift" to me will have to wait a little longer. the conciliation prize (which isn't really comparable) is a real halloween costume. you see for the non fluffy ladies out there, we big girls have some issues getting costumes. for some reason the costume manufacturers think that anyone over a size 18 should be stuffed in some full on dress (envision several layers of a renaissance dress) or some stupid, and somewhat embarrassing, outfit that makes you look ten times larger (things like strips of bacon or a whoopie cushion). for the fellas this is not actually a bad deal, but for the ladies... halloween is a time to dress a little more... sassy... not like breakfast food. ANYWAY... this year i am anticipating actually being able to fit comfortably in one of the costumes that i really, really want (queen of hearts). i won't have to make it or some other costume which to me just rocks!!! so happy 30lb to me... if i get there. otherwise i will have to think up another game plan (or just save the celebration until i hit another milestone).

tip for the day: be cautious of the scale. when losing weight at a rapid rate and wanting to see the results it can be very easy to become obsessed with the scale. last week i was so obsessed with the scale that every time i went to the bathroom i was stepping on it to see if peeing had helped me drop any lbs. i know this may not sound like a bad thing, but it can be. most individuals with some sort of eating disorder are obsessed with the scale that they step on it after everything; taking a drink of water, peeing, eating ANYTHING, etc. it is important to not let yourself fall in to that trap. enjoy your weight loss but don't let it consume you. for me it was more that the scale was there so it just seemed "ok" to step on it, a lot. so i moved it out of the bathroom into the spare room. this way it isn't there reminding me every time i go to the bathroom and i don't think about it. so if you are finding yourself stepping on the scale more than once a day (which still may be too much for some people) move the scale to a room that you don't use all that often. out of sight out of mind kind of thing. besides, if you are going to the center like they ask you are weighing in 3 times a week anyway.

happy eating everyone!

difference in choices

this past week i haven't been terrible about eating on plan but i haven't been 100% perfect either. I think my body has finally started fighting me when i don't stick to plan. i haven't lost as much as i would have liked to so i kicked things up with the gym. tonight i made a decision that i think a month or two ago i wouldn't have made.

it is a saturday night i would love to go out. however, since i want to be down another size by j's party in november i need to behave. instead i am going to the gym tonight. it is reasons like this that i love the fact that i have a 24hr gym, but also the fact that it is right down the street from me. it is as if it taunts me and says "you know you need to come down here and work out". i am actually headed that way shortly.

my tip for the evening is this... when going to the gym, music is a great thing to keep you motivated. i actually found a website that had several playlists on it for every type of workout: warm-up, cool-down, spinning, elliptical, running, etc. the website is inthegym.net. i LOVE it!!! gets me pumped up and keeps me going!!! so load up your ipod with some tunes to get you in the mood to pump it up and hit the gym (or just the road to walk). happy eating (and running)!!!

who knew

i apologize for my lack of writing. i have been busy with work, spending some time with friends, and traveling again for work.
i haven't been to the center since tuesday, as of that visit though i had lost another 1.5 lbs. that actually brings the grand total to 18.5 lbs in 5 weeks. taking in to consideration the up, downs, and frequent travels... i am very pleased with this. i kept hoping i would get to that 20 mark, but not quite yet. my goal is to hit it by monday! who knows maybe even by saturday night i will hit it!

my favorite thing is the cause for the subject of this blog. i had a new discovery today... I HAVE DIMPLES!!! on my cheeks that is. for the first time, ever i think, you can see dimples on both of my cheeks. i love it!!! who knew i had those?!?! i know people who have them aren't always thrilled but mine have been hiding for years so i am a big fan of them. for now at least.

i am officially down one size as well. wearing the larger size just makes me look frumpy.

my tip for the evening is this... if you can't seem to curb that sweet tooth (like me) i have found that a single serving of sugar free jelly beans or swedish fish isn't a bad way to feed it. they are not that high in calories and if you take the carb blockers it will help with not gaining weight. i prefer the sour jelly beans but that is just me. since 1 carb blocker gives you 300 calories back, i feel less guilty about eating them. so hopefully that helps you! whatever you do, i say avoid chocolate!!!

happy eating!

kicking a and taking names

when i stepped on the scale yesterday i was so excited to see that i was down 22lbs. now i also realize that it was a morning weight and that is never really accurate. i always have to add about 2 to 3 lbs. either way... that was SO EXCITING for me! to know that i am almost there with is virtually 1/4 of the way. i feel so accomplished.

as i stated in my last post, it is starting to show in my face and my thighs the most. however i am noticing some other places that i can see a loss some weird and some irritating. first off, when my chin went missing so did part of my boobs. they haven't shrunk that much but i notice a difference in my bras. i am not a fan of this!!! hopefully they will be proportionate to however i end up looking in the end. the weird places of weight loss are my hands and my feet. i can see it in my toes (this is just funny to me) and my hands i actually see more of the excess skin. this is common with rapid weight loss but the efa's are supposed to help that. the skin really isn't noticeable to anyone but me, and the only reason i noticed it was because i was sitting in meeting, bored waiting for it to start. i also noticed my hand because the ring i have worn on my right ring finger for about 7 years now is spinning a lot more... it has spun in a while!

i am not seeing the results as much as i would like in the tummy area, but it is a practice of patience. i know i will be able to see more dramatic results but it will take a while for that part of my body since it really is the biggest. i am not going to let that get me down, exspecially when i can see the results elsewhere.

i was also thrilled this weekend when some friends made real steps towards understanding and supporting me in this diet. one friend made sure that i had taken all of my required stuff (water, pills, supplements, etc) and another realized that she had left cake at my house *on purpose* until she got home and remember the diet and called me very apologetic. i appreciate the fact that they are starting to recognize that this is a change in my life and are not simply disregarding it.

i am actually going to leave you with 2 tips for the day. the first is about throwing a party. i love to throw parties, but it isn't usually favored by guests to have only healthy food out. at the same time you don't want to eat the cheese dip or cupcakes that have been set out. making sure you have a veggie tray and save at least one of your veggie servings for through out the party is a great solution. you can eat your veggie serving and still feel like part of the group because you aren't watching them all eat, plus you stay on plan. my other tip is a quick meal idea. yesterday i was so busy running around trying to get everything set up that i barely had time to fix anything!!! dinner was quick and simple. i took a thawed salmon plank, seasoned it with dill and pan seared it. top it with lite mayo and serve with cucumbers. it is a lite meal but very yummy. for a little pizzaz throw some lemon juice on the salmon while cooking it. add some of your mls (lite salt) to help get your full 1/4 tsp in. i loved it! i will post the fish people i use. they sell cod and salmon in vacuum sealed packages and they are pretty much perfect portion size or 1/2 of a portion size. makes it really easy to thaw and cook! :o)
happy eating everyone!

excuse me, sir. have you seen my chin?

i got the best compliment thus far about the diet last night from a friend. she knew i was starting this thing but due to schedules hasn't seen me for a couple weeks. last night she came over for a while and told me how you could see that my face was thinner and i had "lost a chin". :o) mind you we always joked about having double, or triple, chins. that compliment alone gave me a bounce in my step all day today. it is hard for the people who see you every day or almost every day to notice the changes because they are so subtle. it helps to have that comment of "wow i can see it" from someone else. it really validates that the loss isn't only in my head which is how i sometimes feel.

that bounce was only furthered by weighing in today and finding out that i was down yet another lb. how exciting is that?!?! i know one lb doesn't seem like a lot but a lb in two days??? i love it. the whole celebration of 1 lb was talked about today between me and some co-workers. i was telling them about the less than enthusiastic response i got from the counselor at the center on monday (who i almost got again until she realized it was me and disappeared). they made the comment that not every day can be a 5lb day. so true and it is important to celebrate the little things. afterall i am paying to come sit and talk to you and for you to be my cheerleader and guide of sorts through out this journey. i anticipate and actually require some acknowledgement of my accomplishment from the people at the center. after all they of all people know what i am going through (maybe not from personal experience, but they know the ins and outs of the diet) so they can appreciate how difficult it is.
please don't take that as me saying it isn't worth it. it is! thus far i am more than pleased with how things are going and while i miss my cheese and my cramps during "that time" can get kinda rough with out being able to feed them, i am happy and feeling 10 times better in just 1 month. that reminds me *sorry for the following fellas*, for the lady readers who do this. beware the cramps during that lovely time of the month. i am prone to bad cramps and have always eased the pain by feeding them, usually bread or potatoes because it gave the muscles something to burn longer. unfortunately, you can't do that with this plan. i suggest feed your body water and do something like take a walk or clean. you'd be surprised how well it works.

i guess this takes me to my tip of the day: when buying your "supplies" i am finding that both e-bay and craigslist have people selling their stuff. they are selling it for a variety of reasons (the plan didn't work for them, they didn't like the cost, they got pregnant, etc.) and usually it is unopened. almost ALWAYS they are offered at a lower price than what you pay at the center. i am finding this may be a GREAT way to buy things and cut some of the cost. the metabolizer (aka your herbs) is the most expensive item at the center ($135/bottle) and i am finding that it is also the most popular on the sites. usually for $99 or less. so if you are comfortable with these sites and want to save a bit of green... shop on there for your needs. :o) that was also my shameless plug for e-bay and craigslist because i L-O-V-E them.
happy eating all! *and shopping

#8

this may be long, i apologize.
first, i weighed in yesterday. not only did i go down from the gain that i experienced after my trip to pa, i also lost an additional lb. i wanted to jump up and down for joy on that one. unfortunately my excitement was somewhat dulled by my less than enthusiastic counselor that i sat with yesterday. their response to you really does have an impact on the whole process. she was less than interested in me, my results, or how things were going in general. the nice part was that another one of the counselors, actually the one i sat with last monday, was sitting at the next desk. after her client left she started asking how my trip was and how i was feeling. it was pretty nice to have her remember me after only meeting her once and having that be a week ago. i must remember to NOT go to the woman i went to yesterday, this makes 2 counselors there that i don't want to see. however there are about 4 others that i have sat with that a GREAT so the good out weigh the bad.

i made dinner tonight. sad to report... it wasn't as good as i had hoped. it was sauteed chicken, eggplant, tomatos, and some herbs. it wasn't the worst thing i have made yet (that would be the REALLY lemon chicken), but it was no where near the best. needless to say i won't be making this meal again unless i can think of some ways to spruce it up. i am still really big on trying to figure out what to do with eggplant. i don't know why, but something just tells me that it is a versatile veggie that could be really good if prepared correctly. suggestions are much appreciated.

tip for tonight: when eating off plan such as my business trips out, the center will help correct that by removing a fruit and a starch along with a water flush. this can be slightly difficult if your second fruit is your midafternoon snack. i suggest making sure you are taking in enough water around that time (it will help curb the appetite). it is also helpful to use the one starch you get as your midafternoon snack if you don't want to use one of your supplements. i still prefer my supplement as my after dinner snack just to curb that sweet tooth. happy eating.

ch-ch-changes

it appears as though i am back to where i was before i left for pa. i can't begin to tell you how excited this makes me!!! basically i have cut out my starches for the past two days and i eliminated one fruit from yesterday. i have also been doing my water treatment, so right on to that.
i can't begin to tell you how exciting it is when i slip on a pair of jeans and they are baggy to start with. i have two sizes of jeans in my closet, i pretty much can't wait the larger size without looking like i am a hobo, the smaller size is actually fitting perfectly for now. it will be very exciting for me when i can go to the store and buy the next size down. i might even do a bit of a dance in the store. while i am waiting it is fun seeing the changes in my body. i can see some loss around my face, my arms, and even my legs. how fun!!!

my tip for today is the yummy lunch i made. inspired by the fall weather outside i wanted to make something with apples. today produced an apple stuffed chicken, i am a major fan! keep in mind this is modified to suit one meal and the recipe actually is supposed to create enough for i think 4.
i took 1/2 of a granny smith green apple. cored, skinned, and thinly sliced (it is important to slice this pretty thin). coat the apple slices in a ground cinnamon (about 1/8th of a tsp) and sugar *i used splenda* (about 1 tbs or less). slice your 6oz chicken breast in half (do not cut all the way through) and place your coated apple slices in the middle. secure closed with toothpicks. i didn't cut my slices thin enough so i was only about to get about 4 slices in the chicken, i ended up cooking the rest of them with the chicken. the original recipe calls for you to grill the chicken, i placed it in a pam covered pan on stove top. i cooked the chicken on both sides and added a bit of water to make sure it stayed moist and didn't burn. when the chicken was close to being done i added the rest of the apples to cook them up too.
on the side, i mixed 1 c. of apple cider vin. and 1 tbs of flour in a smaller pan. heat this up, constantly stirring until it is thick. spoon this over the chicken when you are ready to eat.
the apples give the chicken a sweetness and the vinegar/flour mix has a tart taste that compliments the apples and chicken so nicely. i was a little worried about trying this but i really am a big fan. i can see myself serving this to guests too! the meal provides 1 protein and 1 fruit. it is also good because apple cider vin. is something you can have unlimited amounts of. :o) i do have a scaled up version of this recipe if you want it. i would like to know if any of you try this and what you think (jenni i think you might actually enjoy this one).
happy eating everyone!

diet + travel = not friends

i am finally back from my trip to pa for work. it was a good trip business wise, i learned a lot, saw some great things, and met some fun people. on the diet side of the trip... not so great.

i did pretty well the first day i was gone. the hardest part was lunch since it is really hard to find something "on plan" in the airport. i did go to the grocery store when i finally got in to easton so i could at least get some bottles of water, fruit, and veggies. i wanted to make sure i would be getting those in. i have noticed over my travels that fruit is the hardest part for me to get outside of breakfast. wednesday i still did alright but again nothing was really straight to plan. it is difficult to stick exactly to plan when you aren't cooking, and even harder when you don't actually have a selection to choose from (i.e. the company providing you lunch). thursday was the same story, but thursday night i was really "bad". i had chinese. what made this worse... it wasn't even good chinese! :o( the other bad part about wednesday and thursday was i had a few beers with one of the fellas from UK. beer is a really big no no since it is empty calories. finally, friday was probably the worst out of all of it. i had fast food for 2 of the meals and then mom and i had mexican for dinner.
beyond the not eating correctly and drinking beer, i also wasn't getting all of my water in, i had diet coke (i usually would have had diet sprite or something along those lines), and i wasn't getting my second supplement in. so needless to say i didn't do so hot on the whole diet thing. luckily, the fact that i did stick to plan a little bit and took the carb blockers i only gained about 4lbs back. this shouldn't be that hard for me to get back off if i do a water flush AND remove my starches for 3 days.
the funny thing about this is that i feel icky. not so much that i feel guilty about not eating according to plan but the unhealthy food, specifically the fast food and diet coke, made me feel like i was dragging, bloated, and my stomach even hurt a little bit yesterday. i think over the past few weeks my body has gotten used to not having that gross stuff in there so throwing it back in in a larger quantity made a big difference in how i feel. oh well, it is back to plan today and so far so good.
tip for today is about motivation when you have a set back like this. my motivation yesterday/today came in a song i heard on my way home from my parents house. it is a song my sixx am which is actually about using drugs, but hey it worked for me in this situation. it is called "accidents can happen". basically the lyrics said "accidents can happen, and it's okay. we all fall off the wagon sometimes. it's not your whole life, it's only one day! you haven't thrown everything away!!!" what a great thought for me to keep going. when it would have been easy for me to say screw it this is too hard, i already screwed it up, i just needed to realize that it was only one day (or one trip if you will). i can fix this and keep going, this set back doesn't mean the end. so off we go again! :o)